GUESS THE POPE'S WEIGHT!

 

 I never understood BINGOHHH.

Whoops--I forgot the exclamation point.

 

BINGOHHH! was a recurring Toronto Sun promotion that many sane, smart people at the paper swore readers loved.

 

I never got it.

I scanned the rules once but gave up.

Life is short.

 

When the contest came back the third time, I concocted a column that claimed to offer The Complete Rules to Sun BINGOHHH.

It was odd gobbledygook I stole from canasta, hop scotch, Red Rover, Euchre, Old Maid, sack races and Crazy Eights.

 

At least three readers asked for reprints, the better to be a BINGOHHH winner.

I doubt they won.

 

But was BINGOHHH! the Greatest Newspaper Promotion Ever?

 

  I thought so, until I heard about the Guess The Pope's Weight Contest.

WTF?   

 

Barbara Amiel surfaces the story in her ridiculously readable Friends and Enemies memoir (Doubleday)

The former editor was at the infamous marketing meeting.

Over to you, my Black Queen.....

 

****

 "(Sun) Marketing meetings were my low point. I did everything

possible to avoid them. Matters came to a head in 1984, when Pope John Paul II came to Canada. How was the Sun going to play the historic visit?

 

"I suggested to our marketing meeting that we might want to highlight the anti-Nazi activities of the Pope and most especially his stance against communism in his native Poland ... My remarks were greeted with dead silence, broken only by the irresistible notion of our marketing director.

"'I've got it, and you're going to love this,' he said gleefully to the tableful of executives. 'We'll sponsor a contest.' General murmurs of approval. The Sun was mad about contests. I couldn't quite see how to link the Pope with a Toronto Sun contest, but I feared the worst...

"'Here it is,' he said as the cardboard mock-up slid out from under his chair. The words were in purple on a gold background, underneath the Toronto Sun logo, the Pope's face and, all around it, balloons with TV sets, hockey sticks and skis inside them:

"'$100,000 in prizes ... Can You Guess the Pope's Weight?'"

 

--Barbara Amiel, Friends and Enemies

  

**** 

That Pope's Weight contest was genius, baby.

I saw the Popemobile arrive at 333 King St. E.

His Holiness rushed to the elevator, past the legally blind security guard--who got John Paul's first blessing.

Upstairs, JP blessed the demon City Desk, then it's out the back hallway to the Photo Studio where pro clickers Betts, Wesley, Gray, and a half dozen SUNshine Girls waited.

The Pope eyeballed The Giant Scale--borrowed for the day from Shopsy's. There was momentary confusion: should he lose the cape and headgear? Strip to his skivvies? He demurs.

As His Eminence steps onto the scale, proctors Mel Lastman and John Arena watch closely. There was an audible gasp as the Official Result was announced.

He weighs ...  84.3682 kilograms! 186 pounds.

Since The Pope must weigh somewhere between 150 and 250, there are only 8,560 entries who guessed 186 in promotion's corresponding box. He picks one. Cameras click like crickets.

The Pope is asked if he'd like a stale donut in the Sun cafeteria. He demurs. Tuna salad? No. It takes two hours to rush the winner downtown.

The tearful winner hustles upstairs to shoot  tomorrow's Sun front. It's the prettiest cheque presentation ever recorded. The Pope held a prop hockey stick. Thanks, Betts. Magic.

Left to right: Tom MacMillan, The Pope, The Winner and Lynda Ruddy. In a second shot, just Pope John Paul and four SUNshine Girls.

The Pope blesses The Winner in English, French and Italian (for Corriere Canadese).

His Holiness gets a Sun t-shirt and a toque.

Both The Pope and The Winner grab free  overnight accommodation at Sutton Place, cause we had a really good comp deal. They're on with Scruff the next morning at Q.

When the Sun hit the streets, every stereo store in the city rejoiced. Sun ad dreams do come true. Red Sun boxes downtown were empty by 10.30 a.m. We restarted the presses. It was the Best Circ Day Ever.

Should The Pope diet? Eat less pasta? The weight thing was all over morning radio! Crazy.

You think BINGOHHH! could hold a candle to Guess the Pope's Weight? 

Dream on, fool.

 Sun papal souvenir, $9.99