Lucifer isn't just a hot sauce ...
Donald Trump's GOP convention is over.
It made for a week of fascinating viewing on MSNBC, CNN and Fox, each with a twist on the line-up ... from the Ultimate Fighting Dude to subcontractors to the Hillary-murdered-my-son Mom.
Weeping. Screaming. Lynch mobs. Code Pink ladies in the balconies. I'm afraid I logged dozens of hours, slack-jawed in front of the TV.
Melania's little oops was adorable.
Recurring audience shots of red faces in even-redder gag wigs and hats was well worth the price of admission--that price being a substantial number of brain cells. Who doesn't enjoy General Flynn, whose appearance on Bill Maher's show the night-after was a nice encore for the frightened.
If Mike Pence is not a robot, he should be. His sad eyes, like Chris Christie's, show what his ambition has signed on for. The body language between Pence and Trump is hilarious. Sealed with an air kiss.
The candidate himself is beyond words.
The Republican hoohah was missing only an appearance by Lucifer, God of the Outer Darkness.
"Yes," he would thunder. "Hillary worships me."
If Ben Carson--Lucifer's spotter--lurks anywhere near a Trump White House, pray they give him nothing to play with but toys.
But I imagine the Politburo of Trump Children will see to that.
Scratch Don Jr, who will dance on Bill de Blasio's ass in the NYC mayor's race.
If I were young Barron Trump, I would change my name soon. Pray the witness relocation program can rescue him from this hotbed of ego and ambition.
And oh, poor Hillary.
I'm not surprised, just disappointed in Clinton's choice of Tim Kaine--a bland, pudgepoop of a running mate. Was Lucifer not available?
Yes, my fellow cynics ... two women would have been Too Much, and Cory Booker would be PC's Memories of Obama sauce. So no Bernie, Warren or Booker. Why deliver anything to the base in this all-important Trump showdown? The Democratic candidate picks the establishment, golly-jeepers white guy. Here, pass the mayo.
Hill and Tim will be trounced in every news cycle.
It will not be pretty.
And with every Breaking News TV banner, Trump will grow stronger.
I think Hillary Clinton has taken an impossible and dangerous risk.
Not even one hand clapping.
It's just an election, right? Right.