Slow weekend

So it's not a hoax???

Fake!
 I did NOT refuse his handshake!
  My General or whoever he is came up to me and said, 'Sir, look how small my hand is compared to yours!
You have Very Big Hands, Sir."

Happy.

Forget "Invisible Enemy"

Remember Invisible Enemy?

Invisible means you can't see it.

Nobody knows virus around.

Invisible.

A lot of people don't know what invisible means.

Nobody knew that.

People are telling me they smell smoke.

Was there a fire?

Is something wrong?

Thank you.

Northern Scavengers light up Youtube

If you have heart, guts or dreams, watch this epic 638-kms wilderness trip across rivers, lakes, waterfalls and woods to the wild Labrador coast.

As tipped here mid-winter, the Canuck  outdoorsmen posted half-hour video diaries of their adventure on youtube these last 13 weeks.

The last episode went up tonight.

The videography is beyond belief.

The music track is dead on.

The scenery is unbelievable.

Read the comments: "This is the best thing on youtube." "This should be on Netflix." 

If you wonder why we live in this cold, harsh, sweet, tough, bug-tormented land, here's the answer.

And the guys? You will be buds.
The Northern Scavengers are Noah Booth, Alex Trainor, Chris Giard and Dave Greene.

What they've accomplished here will lift, break and warm your heart.

If you're tempted by the opening moments above, you'll find 

Episode 1 at

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKtHECyJBPA 

and then in order, another dozen episodes to

Episode 13 at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUIt1BUrLCk

Website: https://www.northernscavenger.com/home

There's never a virus in the bubbles.....

Tweetstorm coming

Must admit to a strong and satisfying bit of Schadenfreude at the
cancelled Space X launch at 4.33pm today.... 

Trump, Pence, their families, staff, cabinet members, all flown in and waiting in Florida for the Joyous Moment--and the prepared Trump Victory Statement to follow. The speech was scheduled.
But nada.

And the forecast predicts a 70% rain for the next launch window, Saturday at 3.22pm....

Sure hate to be on Air Force One flying back.

I see darkness....

Many per capitas

z
The Daily Beast profiles Sarah Cooper
at...
https://www.thedailybeast.com/tik-tok-comedian-sarah-cooper-might-be-the-best-trump-impressionist-of-all-time?ref=home 

Ben Folds, upside-down in Oz

(Tune at 18.30)
 
Ben Folds is alive and well in Australia.

He was caught mid-tour in Sydney, nine weeks ago by the you-know-what virus.

But every Saturday night since, he tosses an hour of tunes up to the youtube universe.

I confess to fanboy status.

Who else is so prolific, quirky and talented, now for more than 20 years?

Above, see him destroy a piano at NPR with one of his hits. Yes, One Angry Dwarf...

September '75 I was 47 inches high
Mom said someday I would have
A bad ass mother G.I. Joe
For your little minds to blow
I still got beat up after class

Now I'm big and important
One angry dwarf
And 200 solemn faces
Are you
If you want to see me
Check your papers and your T.V.
Look who's tellin' who what to do
Kiss my ass good-bye...

To see Folds' concert from last night, check

https://youtu.be/HjUhw_33wAk?t=105 

What pandemic?

We need this.

Yes, some strip to nekkid.

Shake your butt...

And he can fly

"I tested positively toward negative, right?
So no, I tested perfectly this morning.
Meaning, I tested negative.
But that's a way of saying it:
Positively toward the negative."
 --Trump, mask-less at a factory today

So in the yin/yang circle symbol, is yin the white one? 
Or the black one?
Yang only knows.

Would you like your ears eaten?

The running of the bullshit....

https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/blitts-kvetchbook/dont-tread-on-me

Barry Blitt's New Yorker cartoons are inspired

No more falling-down drunk!

It's a ride!

It's a stroller!

It's nearly like the lake!

 Bar bumper-tables!

“If you come in to get a pound of shrimp and a beer, you can stand in one of these and walk around and look at things and talk to people,” Harman said. He said the reception to the bumper tables was positive when his family and friends took them out for a trial run outside his restaurant Saturday. (Maryland restaurant, with new social distancing bumpers)

The Dog's Breakfast Grand Final

Andrew Cotter discovers  new pandemic sports to report on ....

Google is a verb, and so is .... zoom

Zoom was founded in 2011, by Eric S. Yuan, a Chinese-born engineer who is the company's CEO. It has been on the market since 2013.
In 2017, Zoom's valuation reached $1 billion.
In April 2019--when it went public--it hit $16 billion.

Hello? Is this thing working? 
Can you see me?
Tap F4 and scream....
That's good.
Cancel the Zoom tag day.

End of the world? Are you having fun yet?

z
End of the world?
Where are the zombies?
Jonathan Pie is the housebound TV reporter who might be Brit actor Tom Walker.

"Is there a way we can do something like that?"

On any person who desires such queer prizes, New York will bestow the gift of loneliness and the gift of privacy.
  --E.B. White, 1948
  from New Yorker, April 13, 2020

Is this what some call solitude? 

David Remnick: pandemic souvenirs

"These next weeks and months will be demanding in ways that are hard to fathom. 
If New Yorkers are in hiding, the virus has shown a knack for seeking.
But with time, life will return to the city....
The doors will open and we will leave our homes. We will meet again. We will greet our friends, face to face...
Children will attend class with their teachers.
Sidewalks and stores and theaters will fill.
Remnants of the crisis--a box of nitrile gloves, a bag of makeshift masks, containers of drying Clorox wipes--will be tucked away, out of sight and out of mind.
We'll forget a lot about our city's suspended life.
But we will remember what, and who, we lost.
We'll remember the time squandered.
And we will remember the sound of seven o'clock."
  --David Remnick, editor
     New Yorker

These last two months, the New Yorker has never seemed so connected. Dozens of contributors have filled the magazine with gulp-making content, dispatches from a distant war front. If you've missed Remnick's weekly journal of our most ridiculous times, this would be a fine time to start.

www.newyorker.com 
 
 

And now, a musical interlude...

z

The new tune this week is an old one.

Nelson Faria and Cainã Cavalcante play
Toninho Horta's classic, Francisca.



Clip from Faria's youtube show, 

UM CAFÉ LÁ EM CASA

 Terrific half hours with Brazil's best musicians.

Three tunes in each show.

Shot in Portugese, but about a third of the shows

have both English and Portugese captioning.

Essential viewing for jazzfans and mpb buffs.

See Brazil's master melodiers with killer sound.

Three men and a stretch....

Yeah, I have seen Tiger King.

One question: The blond Tiger God has had two husbands and both say they're straight?

I'm dim, but that's a heavy lift.

Self note: e-mail Dan Savage.
 

David Spade's "Shrimps Cocktail"

z

Comedians are losing their minds.

Will there ever be another club or concert?

Give a comic a GoPro and lockdown, and
the results can seem like amateur hour.

But David Spade riffs above on ghosts, 
shrimps cocktails and hair to good effect.

See?

Things are getting better .... 

PS. Spade joke. "Did you see that monkey on a motorcycle try to steal a baby? But it was just a shoot for a movie. Mission Chimpossible."
Rimshot

Spade's The Wrong Missy debuts next Wednesday (May 13) on Netflix.

Behind the spin

THE LONG VIEW … FORMER AUSTRALIAN PM KEVIN RUDD in FOREIGN AFFAIRS: “[D]espite the best efforts of ideological warriors in Beijing and Washington, the uncomfortable truth is that China and the United States are both likely to emerge from this crisis significantly diminished. Neither a new Pax Sinica nor a renewed Pax Americana will rise from the ruins. Rather, both powers will be weakened, at home and abroad.

“And the result will be a continued slow but steady drift toward international anarchy across everything from international security to trade to pandemic management. With nobody directing traffic, various forms of rampant nationalism are taking the place of order and cooperation. The chaotic nature of national and global responses to the pandemic thus stands as a warning of what could come on an even broader scale.”

Graduation Day

z

These last six Mondays, John Krasinski has offered Some Good News on youtube.com

In #6 above, he springs his best. 

Graduation...

Oprah, Steven Spielberg, Jon Stewart, and Malala ... and these kids ... on their launchpad.

Over 1.7 million people have watched ... 
in just two days.
Impressive.
Touching.
Inspiring.

FULL SHOW AT
https://youtu.be/IweS2CPSnbI

Keep your distance for now, eh?

z
Feeling down?
Open wide.
Swallow this.

The end of selfies?

So is this the end of selfies?
Can I have a picture?
Don't think so, dogbreath.
Step away.
Even a selfie stick won't help.
The gods are angry.
Celebrity prayers have been answered.
Get solo, Instagram.
Back off, paparazzi.
This zone? MY zone.