ONTARIO CASINOS: This is NOT your Lucky Day

 This blog entry first appeared here more than 10 years ago ....

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Ontario's Thousand Islands Casino shears more sheep each year than most wool farms.
Why is a mighty mystery.

Follow signs near Gananoque, and you arrive at what appears to be a failed Wal-Mart or Loblaws in a field. Inside this eyesore box is more security--and less fun--than most airports.

This is NOT your Lucky Day.

An Unsmiling Greeter will decide if you should be allowed in. If she suspects you are under 50, you will be shepherded into a second line-up to produce two pieces of identification for a Large Uniformed Bald Guy. Prove you are 18. 

 

People obviously in their 30s 

dug in their wallets when I was there. 

Or had their cameras confiscated.

Are we having fun yet?

Beyond the doors is an area similar to a Canadian Tire store, filled with slot machines. It is patrolled by Large Uniformed Security People. A few random table games are under the yawning control of Uniformed Croupiers. 

 

You will notice there is much less sound than in a Vegas or Atlantic City casino. No yelling, no laughter. Are we having fun yet?

At the far end of the hall is the Grill. It is more brightly lit than the casino or most high school cafeterias. Here you order beer.

 

 Thanks to Ontario's arcane liquor laws, drinking and gambling may never be mixed. No cocktails for high rollers.

But beer, wine and booze 

are mixed at many rural Ontario groceries!

 

The province makes most City Folk buy their drinks 

from lazy LCBO stores, conveniently located wherever the government MPP of the day insisted there be one.
 

Ontario's imitation casinos are sullen rip-offs. 

At real casinos, sheep are stripped of their money

with Great Joy, Jingling and Delight.

Ontario is politically correct so we have "charity casinos." 

The charity of course, is the Ontario government which--thanks to your participation--embraces our Freedom from Guilt.

Aren't we taxed enough? 

Casinos are a tax on the stupid. 

Why give them a cent?

Why not just take a nice snapshot of the large rock in parking lot C2? And leave. Shaking your head.

Question: 

Which is more humiliating?

 To work at an Ontario Charity Casino? 

Or to spend a dime there as customer? 

Discuss.  

In Ontario, this is NOT your Lucky Day.

 

Ever.