Thursday, December 22, 2005

Granny's nuts

Everybody comes to granny's house for Christmas.

Granny follows the sound of children's laughter and hurries to their playroom.

"Who'd like some nuts?" the dear old woman chuckles.

Greedy children fight for the treats, devouring every nut in the bowl. She brings them a second serving. "Eat up!" she chirps. "I have lots!"

Granny goes to the den, when family guys are drinking beer and trading b.s. It is a blue zone of belches and farts.

"Anyone for nuts?" Granny asks? She has another bowl! "I'll just leave them here on the table, lads."

Gorilla hands grab for nuts, fill their fists.

Granny goes to the kitchen, where lady relatives cluster.

"Can I offer you girls some nuts?" Granny asks, pulling a huge sack of nuts out of the cupboard and filling yet another bowl. Soon it's empty too.

She refills nut bowls all afternoon, urging kids and adults to eat up. A daughter-in-law sees her yanking another sack from the cupboard.

"Aren't you having any nuts yourself, Gran?" she asks.

"Oh no dear," Granny says. "You know I can't have nuts! I have such terrible gums. And no teeth!"

"Then why do you buy so many?"

Granny smiles sweetly: "I just love the chocolate around them."

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