Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Christmas Gloves

Okay, okay.

You knew it was gonna show up here.

It took weeks for the guy to find his girlfriend's perfect Christmas gift.

They'd only dated a few months. He wanted romantic, but nothing cold, creepy or too personal.

He decides on a pair of gloves. Ladylike. Old-fashioned.

He enlists his girlfriend's younger sister to select them at Holt Renfrew. The sister is so delighted by the store, she buys a pair of lace panties for herself.

The salesclerk mixes up the boxes. That's why the guy's girlfriend opens a box of panties on Christmas morning and reads the following hand-written note...

"I chose these because I notice you never wear any when we go out. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen longer ones with buttons. But she wears short ones that are easier to remove.

"These are a delicate shade, but the saleslady showed me a pair she'd been wearing for three weeks and they were barely soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

"I wish I was there to help put them on you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I see you again.

"When you take them off, remember to blow on them before putting them away. They will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Will you wear them for me New Years Eve?

"P.S... The saleslady says the latest style is to wear them folded down, with a little fur showing."

She fled town on Boxing Day.


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