"The only ones watching at home are pets."
--Producer at 11.20 p.m. to Deadline
“As I look around this room I can’t help wondering, is Ozempic right for me?”
--Jimmy Kimmel, host
The award goes to
Bill Maher's Oscar jokes...
"It's a little different this year .. On the red carpet they're asking: who are you slapping?
"But no red carpet. It's gonna be a white carpet. Yes, cause that was the problem with the Oscars. The rug.
"Could you even name what was best picture last year? You win and it's a big deal and then you disappear. Like Kamala Harris.
"I'm rooting for Tom Cruise. I want to see a guy get up there and say, " I want to thank Xenu. "
"Disneyland is dropping that song, Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah? They say it has racial overtones. That song is offensive but not the Seven Dwarfs?
"But no red carpet. It's gonna be a white carpet. Yes, cause that was the problem with the Oscars. The rug.
"Could you even name what was best picture last year? You win and it's a big deal and then you disappear. Like Kamala Harris.
"I'm rooting for Tom Cruise. I want to see a guy get up there and say, " I want to thank Xenu. "
"Disneyland is dropping that song, Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah? They say it has racial overtones. That song is offensive but not the Seven Dwarfs?
It's okay they can sing to Snow White, "Heigh Ho?"
--Bill Maher, Real Time (HBO)
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