Dear Ford Nation,
You may have heard that I'm giving half of Ontario Place to an Austrian company to build a spa, waterpark and parking garage.
As you know, my dream is to see a truly big-ly Toronto of condos in the clouds, and keep the loonies, stabbers and sandwich shops below in the street. Don't go down there.
There will be parking for 2,000 cars under the glass-domey spa. This is for your safety, since the TTC is shit.
Developers assure me tourists will rush thru the world's worst airport to have hot rock treatments and a happy ending rubdown with exotic hamburger oils.
Please do not listen to urban no-nothings and nostalgia freaks whine about this deal. If you would like to buy the other half of Ontario Place, please call 1-800-GoDoug.
I can give you $650 million too. We may need bigger pumps to keep Lake Ontario out of the damn underground parking garage.
If everything in Ontario costs a pretty penny, we can eliminate riff-raff, don't you see?
My team has a dream.
Have a beer and an edible. A donut too.
Would you like some clinics? I hear the hospitals are in trouble.
Your bud, the D-man
Mr. Ford's current album is NeverGreen.
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