Peter Pain? Get your mind out of the gutter.

 

Only geezers will remember Peter Pain,

the little green guy with a pitchfork

who could only be repelled by

great steaming gobs of Ben-Gay.

 

It stank 2% less than Vaporub.

 

This was before vaccines, kids.

 

We pulled our own teeth.

 

Walked to school barefoot...

 

Smeared hot goop on screaming tots.

 

Stuck it where the sun

didn't shine...

 

Dunf, stop.

 

Okay.