"If we eat one, they listen better."
Wednesday, March 31, 2021
Covid follies 03/31/2021
--thedailybeast.com
. More Pfizer vaccine coming to Canada at "end of June"
. "Clam flu" episode of Spongebob Squarepants cancelled by Nickelodion
. 15 million doses of J&J vaccine ruined
. Ontario restaurants get new tighter restrictions
. Canada daily case count back to where it was last November
. Trudeau has vaccine photo ops with sweet geezers
. Doug Ford mulls new lockdowns
. Ontario asks 70+ to register for fun, but no shots for them yet
. New York state offers vaccine shots to everybody over 30 starting Tuesday
Keep the masks on.
Pitter patter
The Schitt's Creek motel is still for sale for $2 million ($1.6 million US).
The seller thinks it could be re-developed as a nice CBC show-themed destination spot, nostalgia for the six-season series.
Or you could buy one of these other 31 Ontario motels for sale and just fill it with Schitt's Creek schitt.
This could be bigger than Rita MacNeil's tea room.
Jazz hands
Neil Patrick Harris is in week one of his two week covid quarantine in a Toronto hotel, prepping to shoot a movie.
BlogTO says he's finished watching Schitt's Creek
and is bored out of his gourd. Aren't we all.
Neil's Instagram account is chockful of hotel room exercise and workout selfies... just in case he ever has to do THIS again.
Tuesday, March 30, 2021
Are they re-making a movie at Niagara Falls?
Clueless?
Dazed and Confused?
The Big Sleep?
News item: New York state announces anyone 30+ can get a vaccine shot starting Tuesday.
LOST SONGS: Telephone Man, Meri Wilson
"Show him where you want it
And he'll put it where he can ...
He's the Telephone Man..."
A Parka Patrol favorite.
Meri recorded a sequel:
Keep it a secret
This Sporting Life is on YouTube.
The tough rugby flick made Richard Harris an Oscar-nominated star. The grittier scenes make it a keystone of hyper-realist film history.
The bright-as-a-penny flick will be up as long as Criterion doesn't discover it's their version.
YouTube is more interested in belling its "influencers" than culling old movies.
They better pray nobody discovers the dozens of Charlie Chan flicks up on the platform.
Amusing or appalling?
"It take very rainy day to drown duck."
Monday, March 29, 2021
No mour blues
We may have Her Majesty on our bills, but we live in North America. No more Brit spellings.
It's labor. Humor. Color.
Not labour. Or humour. Or colour.
We are the new world of Yo, Kewl and Smokeshow.
Every time there's a moment of doubt about choosing humour/humor or labour/labor, I blame the Royals and pip-pip.
The Queen's English, indeed.
Why cower before this lizard-y family of experienced grifters?
Give us a wave, m'um. That'll be 30 million pounds.
If you're still saying shed-yool like the CBC, why not join the new century? It's a fifth over.
And Zed?
Who am I? Charles Dickens?
A midnight memory
When the giggles grab you by the gills....
You were watching the one late show that could have eased us thru the pandemic.
Sadly missed.
Sunday, March 28, 2021
Color them done
Not the next mayor and not the next premier
discuss new Crayola hues to cripple Ontario with fresh covid color codes.
Favorites: burnt umber, sickening green, embarrassed pink, dead store black and teleprompter gray.
Is red, orange or green the good one?
#failfaces, #clowncar
Saturday Night Flat
After years of SNL sketches without endings, Kate McKinnon takes the ball and dunks it.
Nobody escapes.
No. Just no.
Dr. Oz gives Jeopardy a black eye
"Two weeks of Oz is a black eye for Jeopardy; anything more would be
outright destructive to a show that is a part of many millions of
Americans’ daily routines."
--Variety review
Saturday, March 27, 2021
Signs of the Apocalypse: Marshmallow soda
Has April Fools Day come early?
No my babies.
Pepsi announces a colab with the makers of Easter Peeps, the dentists' favorite sticky goo.
Imagine: a soda that tastes like marshmallows.
Did this escape from a laboratory in Wuhan?
Just asking ...
The Nordic Morning Ice Bath
Two years ago, Jonna Jinton uploaded this two minute video to her YouTube channel.
More than 36 million have watched it.
Has she never heard of chilblains?
Holy loofah.
Friday, March 26, 2021
Kitty litter
This Cat Lawyer is already famous.
The cat's video went viral when a lawyer was unable to turn off his daughter's cat filter
for his Zoom court appearance.
If you've never seen the video, it's below, where a YouTube musician has turned it into a Song.
And the New Yorker has a new documentary short about the original cat whose filter image launched a zillion views.
LINK: The kitty filter back story
I blame Andrew Lloyd Webber.
KEWL TATTS
--Mat Rule, tattoo artist
Mat Rule is a 30 year-old French tattoo artist.
His mash-up of cartoon-y reality rocks.
“I watched a lot of series, cartoons and movies when I was younger,"he says.
Ya think?
LOST SONGS: Shenandoah , Peter Hollens
This song first appeared in print in 1876.
It appears to have originated with Canadian and American voyageurs or fur traders traveling down the Missouri River in canoes.
Or maybe not.
Peter Hollens does ALL the voices here, including the one that sounds like a cello.
I have been on this bridge.
In the snow.
I watch this video a dozen times a year.
Thursday, March 25, 2021
Celebrities on sandwiches?
Yes, that's Adam Driver on the left, Dan Levy on the right,
sitting on sandwiches.
Adam's sitting on a
ham, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich.
ham, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich.
Dan is on avocado toast.
Almost 200 celebrities--from Dr. Fauci to Alex Trebek--have inspired a sketch, each atop an appropriate sandwich.
The $30 prints are especially popular in bedrooms and bathrooms.
One Hamilton star keeps prints of Barrack Obama and Michelle Obama on either side of his bed.
Barrack: tuna melt.
Michelle:
avocado, radish, feta, and micro greens on whole wheat.
avocado, radish, feta, and micro greens on whole wheat.
This odd art biz has all sketches online and does mail order.
LINK: Celebs and sandwiches website
We live in strange times.
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
JACOB COLLIER: TOUR BACK ON
COVID killed Jacob Collier's 2020 tour, leaving sold-out venues empty. This year's too risky.
Just up, his 2022 tour dates. A year from now.
Collier's in Toronto May 10, 2022, Danforth Music Hall.
Tickets on sale FRIDAY March 26 in each city, at 10 a.m. local time. That's tomorrow morning.
Montreal, May 11. Vancouver April 4-5.
Thirty cities in Europe, 30 in North America.
Call me fanboy.
Tone deaf?
I watch this teaser clip for an upcoming CBS sitcom that's under fire. The premise and casting are suspect.
A trade paper lists all the reasons here.
Producer Chuck Lorre is celebrated for his formulaic line-joke-line-joke comedies.
But I instantly think: I've seen Al the Afghan, this smart-alec sitcom character with all the good lines before.
Personable. New guy, new land.
Duck out of water.
Who is it?
Alf.
LOST SONGS: Good Thing Going
"And if I wanted too much
Was that such a mistake
At the time?
You never wanted enough —
Okay, tough
I don't make
That a crime ... "
Frank Sinatra's favorite Sondheim song.
Tuesday, March 23, 2021
Mounties and beavers and sticks,
--Susan Therrien, quilt maker
I stumble across Canadian Nines--quilts of nine panels--made for our 150th birthday in 2017.
Haven't seen these before.
Is everybody else inspired?
Sigh.
I just make this.
Monday, March 22, 2021
Who killed Queen Street?
--RyanBolton/blogto.com
Co-vid kills people.
Who killed Queen Street?
Celebrate heroes in Toronto hospitals, but name one hero among our political overlords.
Their political mumble-bumble "response" to the pandemic should definitely be in quotes.
Consider the year of confusion, chaos, mixed messsaging and zero preparation for a predictable event. After this virus, there will be another.
And another.
We're all response and no prep.
It took a year to "follow the science."
Just as in the U.S., the ball was tossed to as many health fiefdoms and regional poobahs as posssible.
It makes it harder to point.
It's frustrating to watch Tory, Ford, Trudeau read their scripted lines as they act out leadership.
What's worse: we accept it.
Photographer Ryan Bolton documents the dark streetscape along Queen St. W. at blogto.com
Cities rot from the head.
So do countries.
Can you blame co-vid for these images, if your response has been closer to urban suicide?
LOST SONGS: Spike Jones, Holiday for Strings
Before Weird Al, Saturday Night Live and MAD magazine, there was ... Spike.
On records, then radio, then TV, Spike Jones and his City Slickers blew up more than 100 hit titles in pop music, all as loopy as they are here.
Did "irony" kill silly?
Pity.
Sunday, March 21, 2021
Boat snack?
--NaimiRose/Australia
The World Nature Photography Awards
has picked winners for 2020.
Canadians took top gold, for the photos below.
Grand Prize: Thomas Vijayan, Canada
Birds, Gold: Dale Paul, Canada
All 30 winning nature photos are at
LOST TUNES:| Days Of Wine And Roses
Does your guitar know it can do this?
Nelson Faria and Romero Lubambo trade licks on the Henry Mancini standard.
It's a clip from Faria's YouTube interview series with Brazil's amazing musicians. Many of the episodes have English subtitles.
Saturday, March 20, 2021
Winter is OVER!
Apetor celebrates the death of winter.
Yes, there is vodka.
This poor guy has gone bush-y.
But there's a kiwi in Norway?
Mind-bending.
Clear Sign of the Apocalypse: Pigs on TV
Coming in two days on Discovery+ channel:
Pig Royalty
A reality series about kids and their porkers.
Take me now, Lord.
Take me now.
Star Wars Medley on Boomwhackers!
Meet the Harvard Thud.
Taking inspiration from Stomp and the Blue Man Group, this Ivy League gang of tube-thumpers has been in biz since 1999.
Who's more excited here?
The players? Or audience?
Friday, March 19, 2021
Gunnel jumping
If you hear loons in your sleep, two sites that celebrate Ontario's favourite park should be on your radar.
The Algonquin Photo and Arts Facebook group features park images from artists, photographers and film makers.
And Urban Paddlers Brian Jackson and Cassandra Jowett have their own web site that celebrates Algonquin trips as well as many other wilderness areas across Canada.
Winter ends Saturday.
Last year, ice out for many Algonquin lakes was in April. Next month.
Get out the portage maps.....
--urban paddler.ca
LINK: Algonquin Photo/Arts Facebook group
LOST SONGS: I Love My Bed
Jazz guys have rediscovered this bizarre tune, first recorded by Julius LaRosa in the 1950s.
Thursday, March 18, 2021
Stink for sale
It's not surprising that a guy and his friends record their own farts and trade them in group chat. That's what dudes do.
The sound of one fart has now been sold for $85.
A 52-minute stinkfest of their best gassy butt bursts currently has a bid of $183.
I salute this new jewel of the gig economy.
- You can fart at home.
- It's eco-friendly.
- No driving is involved.
- User-friendly, unlike canning stink in a jar.
- Selling sound fart files grows digital dump heap
- Most neighbors prefer a butt biz to a crack house--if you keep the windows shut.
- Good news for beans, beans a magical fruit...
LINK: What your farts say about you
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