Brass Rail strip club give fake names or incomplete
information for co-vid tracing purposes.
That must explain what's going on above ....
No name?
No mask?
No bump.
Monday, August 31, 2020
What's good for the goose...
Brass Rail strip club give fake names or incomplete
information for co-vid tracing purposes.
That must explain what's going on above ....
No name?
No mask?
No bump.
A kid on a kite
z
Forget David Blaine and his balloons.
Here's a kid on a kite, upside down.
The tot soars airborne at the :50 mark in the video.
Theme park slingshots are a thing.
Whee!
Forget David Blaine and his balloons.
Here's a kid on a kite, upside down.
The tot soars airborne at the :50 mark in the video.
Theme park slingshots are a thing.
Whee!
Sunday, August 30, 2020
Put a ring on it
In a beautiful pea-green boat
They took some honey, and plenty of money
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Trump looked up to the stars above
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are, you are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'
Pussy said to the Trump, 'You elegant lump,
How charmingly sweet you sing!
Oh, let us be married; too long we have tarried,
But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the bong-tree grows;
And there in the wood, a Piggy-Pence stood,
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose, his nose
With a ring at the end of his nose.
Trump gave Puss a hug, yanks Pence with a tug
And the Piggy froze, offering the ring.
So soon they were wed
But Pussy in bed, cried
'There's snot on this Piggy-Pence thing."
---Edward Lear, 1812-1888
(mostly)
Saturday, August 29, 2020
CANADA: Robert Farnon's Lake of the Woods
You can never hear it too often.
It's misty lakes, mystery mornings,
sunbeams thru treetops, the shimmer of water on
late summer afternoons.
It's Robert Farnon's Lake of the Woods.
Friday, August 28, 2020
Bird brain
Do hummingbirds think each of the yellow mock-flowers on a feeder is a different bloom? A different flavour? Like dogs, they move in circles before they settle.
Would I go to the fridge for a drink and never notice that the milk container, the water jug, the juice bottle, all liquids are juice?
Would I go to the fridge for a drink and never notice that the milk container, the water jug, the juice bottle, all liquids are juice?
I go to the gas station pump to choose four different blends.
Is it all from the same tank, the same thing?
Is this actually a choice of anything but push buttons?
Hummers spend no time thinking about this.
I have.
Thursday, August 27, 2020
Mission impossible
The Beer Store has been trying to commit suicide for at least two decades.
So let it.
Die, Beer Store, die.
Long before co-vid, the charmless, utilitarian outlet Ontario's big brewers run was the very last place you wanted to go on a Saturday.
Play bumper cars in the parking lot.
Line up, like cons at breakfast.
Snake towards the register.
Choose a brew, virtually all of them hidden from sight beyond The Door.
That craft beer you had at a neighbor's or saw an ad for?
"We don't carry it."
More often, just a shrug and a "Huh?"
Go stand in another line, listen for the tell-tale whirr of the conveyor belt.
Often the backroom wizards roll out the orders … out of order. The guy behind you gets his. Then the woman two in front. Then you.
That LCBOs are now full of craft beer is no accident.
That many LCBOs now have fine, big chilly Beer Rooms is no accident.
That many cottage country corner stores now have mini-LCBOs--with beer--is no accident. You can see the beer. You can touch it. You carry and pay for it.
Die, Beer Store, die.
Long before co-vid, the charmless, utilitarian outlet Ontario's big brewers run was the very last place you wanted to go on a Saturday.
Play bumper cars in the parking lot.
Line up, like cons at breakfast.
Snake towards the register.
Choose a brew, virtually all of them hidden from sight beyond The Door.
That craft beer you had at a neighbor's or saw an ad for?
"We don't carry it."
More often, just a shrug and a "Huh?"
Go stand in another line, listen for the tell-tale whirr of the conveyor belt.
Often the backroom wizards roll out the orders … out of order. The guy behind you gets his. Then the woman two in front. Then you.
That LCBOs are now full of craft beer is no accident.
That many LCBOs now have fine, big chilly Beer Rooms is no accident.
That many cottage country corner stores now have mini-LCBOs--with beer--is no accident. You can see the beer. You can touch it. You carry and pay for it.
Was Beer Store Coffin Day when some outlets removed all the display bottles, so tourists couldn't point?
Or was it when some Beer Stores replaced displays with a computer terminal, so you could line up for THAT? Watch befuddled non-techies poke a keyboard to see if what they want is even in stock?
That terminal is now co-vid-covered with a garbage bag. Good riddance.
The only beer in sight in a Beer Store is the pyramid of a brand they're trying to get rid of.
I always thought the stink-eye and snarl were reserved for me because I only returned empties from the LCBO and never bought anything. Wrong. The In-Charge-Of-Empties-Obey-Me-Clerk gives everybody the buzz-off.
Co-vid has not been kind to many Beer Stores.
The entrance door is now exclusively for returns. It's the entrance AND exit.
The exit door is exclusively for beer-seekers who want to come IN and buy. Enter. And exit. Same door.
You get to line up TWICE:
ENTER entrance, return empties, EXIT entrance, walk 20 feet to other door.
ENTER EXIT, buy beer, exit same door.
Customers cluster at both doors.
The Beer Store is dead.
There's a free flyer inside that begs you not to let groceries get beer.
It hints prices might go up.
You think I won't happily pay a surcharge to see that Yellow B Beer Sign go dark?
Lay down. You're dead.
The only beer in sight in a Beer Store is the pyramid of a brand they're trying to get rid of.
I always thought the stink-eye and snarl were reserved for me because I only returned empties from the LCBO and never bought anything. Wrong. The In-Charge-Of-Empties-Obey-Me-Clerk gives everybody the buzz-off.
Co-vid has not been kind to many Beer Stores.
The entrance door is now exclusively for returns. It's the entrance AND exit.
The exit door is exclusively for beer-seekers who want to come IN and buy. Enter. And exit. Same door.
You get to line up TWICE:
ENTER entrance, return empties, EXIT entrance, walk 20 feet to other door.
ENTER EXIT, buy beer, exit same door.
Customers cluster at both doors.
The Beer Store is dead.
There's a free flyer inside that begs you not to let groceries get beer.
It hints prices might go up.
You think I won't happily pay a surcharge to see that Yellow B Beer Sign go dark?
Lay down. You're dead.
Wednesday, August 26, 2020
Ballers
— LeBron James (@KingJames) August 26, 2020
Toronto head coach Nick Nurse said that a boycott of Game 1 between the Raptors and Celtics "is on the table" as well as "some other ideas."
Deep in the weeds
Words I had to check this week…
Prinks … drinks served previous to a dinner or special occasion, at a separate location
Perseveration …. the pathological, persistent repetition of a word, gesture or act, often associated with brain damage or schizophrenia
Emendations …. an alteration designed to correct or improve
Scion … a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting, a cutting.
Remoulade … a French cold sauce based on mayonnaise. Similar to tartar sauce.
Rice spaces … Rice University, established Rice Space Institute, thus slots available for Space Force candidates
--ALL the above words used so far at the US conventions.
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
And the new Tory leader is ... hold on ...
Please do not adjust your sets.
Don't let the CBC turn off the transmitter.
We'll have the Conservative leader ballot count any minute now. We can do this.
Somebody wake up O'Toole.
"Bodyguard of western civilization"
z
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Dig gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, and claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!
--Lewis Carroll
Sunday, August 23, 2020
Friday, August 21, 2020
Young Justin reminds you ....
"Always wear your life jacket, kids ....
You might survive a confidence vote.
And if that doesn't work,
make the water go away for a month."
Thursday, August 20, 2020
Ice cream graveyard
What happens when ice cream flavors die?
Many go to the Ben and Jerry's graveyard.
Schweddy Balls. Turtle Soup.
Wavy Gravy. Holy Cannoli.
They dead.
Each doomed flavour gets a tombstone in Waterbury, Vermont.
If one stirs a memory, see all 21 tombstones at...
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
Are your sunflowers 13 feet tall?
They are at the Bent Anchor this summer.
https://www.facebook.com/bentbar/
Monday, August 17, 2020
NEW TUNE - Sleeping On My Dreams
Jacob Collier's new tune went up on the web last night.
A unique human, he's unrivaled for imagination and ... joy.
Back in January, we cheered Collier's third and
fourth Grammy wins, for his killer multi-trackings
of Moon River and All Night Long.
A North American tour was supposed to land him
in Toronto in May, but of course, covid cancelled it.
Collier was in T.O. July 2019, amazing footage with
Daniel Caesar here:
https://youtu.be/fD4rxj7-uO0
Sleeping on My Dreams has the British music/tech ace
up on his feet, dancing. Yes. Dancing. Me too.
And below, a flashback to his debut album four
years ago, when he could only manage seven
Colliers, six of him to sing, one to play keyboards.
https://youtu.be/zua831utwMM
Sunday, August 16, 2020
Yay, Quran-team! Drive thru strip club
Is this the new normal?
Drive-thru strip clubs in Houston & Portland?
Enter tent with three other cars.
Order burger.
Two tune maximum.
Strippers dance behind fence.
In masks.
Dollar bills litter the floor.
Off you go, ace.
Don't call it a quickie.
Just don't.
Friday, August 14, 2020
Train Hopping with Owen
So how have I spent the pandemic?
I've been down strange and unfamiliar YouTube rabbit holes.
I've been riding freight trains.
I hopped a train from Bakersfield to Barstow, CA.
Rode the roof of a boxcar through famous Tehachapi Pass.
Best views ever.
I'm addicted to the RanOnARail channel on YouTube.
"Owen" is the anonymous videographer/desperado who jumps trains in the US/Mexico/Canada and posts his trips to the web.
He haunts yards and depots, hopping freights.
A clear example--click above--shows how it works.
My guess: these are hours of real time trips, beautifully edited into 30-70 minute Epics. The dude's skills are impressive.
That jet trail in the opening minute?
The dangerous climb to a better view?
Only the rumble and clunk of rail cars is the soundtrack.
In a way, it's ASMR.
I click one of his rides late at night and clickety-click into zzz-land--with thousands of other home screen train-hoppers.
If you like the above ride, you'll go nuts to ride thru the Rockies from Denver to Grand Junction.
No dome car produces views like these.
Gore Canyon at the five minute mark, below...
https://youtu.be/2HkSMWxEUuA
There's a great-paying job for Owen at any TV/film production house. But until then, it's him and a camo knapsack.
These are glorious rides thru amazing landscapes.
And for any railroad buff ... probably better than sex.
Okay. Not "probably."
They're better.
JUST IN: HUMMINGBIRD SMUT
Zefrank1 -- the Internet's Greatest Science Explainer --
aims his odd genius at Hummingbirds.
Hummers are weird.
Who knew?
Dirty Little Bee-yerds.
With forked tongues.
Epic.
Eat your heart out, David Attenborough.
Thursday, August 13, 2020
Oh yeah, this is fun
UK covid concert set-up: 500 platforms,
5 souls on each
2,500 total customers
Everybody wears masks.
No mingling.
It's a hell of a throw to the mosh pit.
From the looks of it, the stage is apparently in the next county.
Is the woman bottom-left watching it on her cellphone?
Yay for the Quaran-team.
Rob Lowe podcast
"All graves go untended ...'
-- Conan O'Brien on fame and legacies
"Never compare anybody's outsides to somebody else's insides."
-- Rob Lowe
Newly-discovered podcast addiction:
Rob Lowe's Literally
available on all pod platforms including
https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/stitcher/literally-with-rob-lowe
Rob yaps with Chris Pratt, Mike Myers, Magic Johnson, Demi Moore, David Spade, Keegan Michael-Key, Gwyneth Paltrow, Conan O'Brien
O'Brien's Team Coco produces the hours.
Note: there's a quick promo at the top, then Lowe.
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
FLASHBACK:: CHUMbusters!
Spend an afternoon down a Toronto radio
rabbit hole.
Find J. Robert Woods'
least favourite song.
But how often do you get a chance to hear Scruff Connors sing?
With Dave Barker, Gary Slaight,
Once there were T.O. radio wars.
Ready? Set? Go:
Salome Bey 1933 - 2020
Been a fan since we met on the worst and penultimate
Spring Thaw. Condolences to the family.
Dance fever
Saluting the proud tradition of dancing traffic control dudes,
CBC News shares Daniel Odgers-Stedman at the link BELOW, makin' moves with every damn bug in the NWT ...
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/dancing-traffic-control-worker-1.5680685
Dan's 17, up on the Mackenzie Highway....
Joe List: I Hate Myself
“I’m not afraid of an airplane crash,
I’m afraid of a conversation... ”
Folks who've discovered Andrew Schulz, Mark Normand, Sam Morril ... the comic heroes of countless podcasts visible on YouTube ... already know Joe List.
Joe's new hour of stand-up went up over the weekend.
Prepared pre-covid, it easily eclipses many comic hours on AmazonPrime and Netflix. Jim Gaffigan, it isn't.
Funny. And free.
YouTube.
Also good for a laugh:
Mark Normand
https://youtu.be/tDolNU89SXI
Sam Morril
https://youtu.be/4Xo3Fq7GGWk
Saturday, August 08, 2020
'Now That I've Given Up Hope, I Feel Much Better'
This will make you feel better.
It's the perfect tune for a pandemic.
Given up hope?
Feel better?
Exactly.
This is my new favorite tune.
Directors: aAron munson, Lyle Bell
Official music video for the SO4 track
“Now That I’ve Given Up Hope, I Feel Much Better”
off of the Spanish Moss and Total Loss album
Me man. Me listen good.
Does Florida "Man Radio" know nothing of MOJO?
Toronto's All Dude Experiment?
"Talk Radio for Guys"?
Mojo Radio
2001-2004
On April 23, 2001, at 6:40 a.m., the station re-launched as Mojo Radio, a hot talk radio format aimed at the male demographic. The station also changed its call letters the same day to the current CFMJ.
The new format featured programs hosted by Humble and Fred, John Derringer, Phil Hendrie, Mike Stafford, Andrew Krystal, Spider Jones, and the syndicated Coast to Coast AM. (Wikipedia)
Me man.
Me like radio.
Me listen good.
Me eat now.
Yum, cheesies.
Turn radio off.
Scratch.
Everybody samba!
Click player.live365 link just above for music stream from connectbrazil.com
Yes, it works on Kindles, tablets, laptops & phones
Ceasar McCool
Everybody chill
Nathan Hower/Reuters/Axios
Ceasar McCool is the "therapy llama" familiar from
weeks of Portland protests. Everybody should have one.
Friday, August 07, 2020
Beer me Friday
International Beer Day (IBD) is a celebration on the first Friday of every August founded in 2007 in Santa Cruz, California. Since its inception, International Beer Day has grown from a small localized event in the western United States into a worldwide celebration spanning 207 cities, 80 countries and 6 continents.
Thursday, August 06, 2020
Barbara Amiel's memoir....
I've been eagerly sniffing the air for Barbara Amiel's upcoming memoir, Friends and Enemies, due out on Oct. 13
It's 608 friggin' pages.
The Toronto Sun editor traveled in far fancier, odder circles than her three years as The Black Queen of King Street.
She was exotic. Mysterious. Fascinating.
But the Sun was just a blip on her celebrated career in journalism and high society. And the marriage. And Conrad's trial. And the decades-long trail of controversial columns, articles, that charmed, infuriated, enlightened or challenged readers.
She often rivaled Blatchford for Longest Lead.
Bono and I kept score.
Of her 1983-1985 stretch in charge of the Little Paper, there's no clue in an early publicity volley.
Shinan Govani's chat with Amiel offers a take on an amazing life, writing the weighty book and how--despite its publisher's claim it is "not a book of vengeance"--there are more enemies than friends.
Now, as then, a sharp wit and self-awareness seems to soften the memoir's name drops and nostalgia.
"Social media and celebrity wardrobes had not yet taken hold..." she writes. "In terms of shallow display, I was ahead of my time and behind in the number of handbags."
I think Amiel got a tough go in her three years at the Sun. I wouldn't be surprised if she had more satisfying work experiences.
But in a life fully lived, sometimes a lot of grump and fury fades. Maybe not for rats.
Late in the book, Govani says Amiel writes:
"I had stardust ... but not enough."
His interview appears in the new issue of Zoomer, the six-issue a year mag for geezers like me. Link below, boomers....
Amiel book interview by
Shinan Govani at ....
https://www.everythingzoomer.com/zed-book-club/2020/07/15/barbara-amiel-memoir/
Amiel in 2012
Jessica Darmanin/Maclean's
Pre-orders at the usual places
Aren't most mentioned in this book now pushing 80?
Honey? Can you help me lift this book?
Wednesday, August 05, 2020
Social distancing?
If anyone wishes for entertainment, such as will prevent him from feeling solitary even when he is alone, let me recommend the company of dogs, whose moral and intellectual qualities may almost afford delight and gratification ... I am often surprised by the cleverness and now and again by the stupidity of my dog; and I have similar experiences with mankind.
--Arthur Schopenhauer
The Pessimist's Handbook
Tuesday, August 04, 2020
Toronto Symphony Orchestra cancels season
It is with heavy hearts that we share our decision to cancel our previously announced 2020/21 season. We remain fiercely committed to performing whenever, wherever, and however we can with ensemble and audience sizes scaled to the circumstances.
TSO Zoom tune: Aaron Copeland
Come back soon...
Sunday, August 02, 2020
Who can save baseball?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/07/31/mlb-mascots-show-must-go-my-time-san-diego-chicken-shows-how-it-can/
Toronto: Just like Tokyo
Face mask vending machines, on corners near you
Full story at
https://www.blogto.com/city/2020/08/face-mask-vending-machines-toronto-malls/
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