Netflix e-mails I really have to see their new movie.
It cost millions.
We know what you watch.
We know what you'd like.
Take a look.
And even tho I lost 10 years of my life, slumped slack-jawed last week thru Netflix's The Wrong Missy, I am an easy mark. That Missy flick is more powerful than Melatonin.
So Netflix flickers to life on my tube.
The hyped movie starts.
The black screen opens to a dark, ominous voice:
dude's running late 'cause the gas container his hand fills on screen had to be diesel.
"It burns slower."
CUT TO
screaming man in bathtub, being generously spritzed with diesel.
Now here is today's quiz.
Do you instantly
(a) leap out of chair, bruising knee in process
(b) yell so loud the dog runs for his hideyhole
(c) curse Slasher, who lives behind couch
(d) rush to electrical box and kill MAIN power
(e) look for the rest of the rum
(f) think: why did that guy get torched?
Take your time. I didn't.
Netflix? Algorithm? Do you really know me?
I know I watched two Jason Stathams last week,
but Sweet Jesus!
Have a heart.
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