It's almost Canada Day. Where are our Cheez-its?

Johnny Mandel 1926-2020

Johnny Mandel, the composer-arranger for albums by Sinatra, Streisand and Michael Jackson was 94.
His unique musicianship--title themes for M.A.S.H. and The Sandpiper--won five Grammys. 
He loved jazz chords and woodwinds.
Players love his stuff.
The opening above is a classic.

Every bear's fave

I Wanna Be A Lifeguard by Blotto

Who doesn't wanna be a lifeguard?


Hardly any clothes
Sand between my toes
White stuff on my nose 
I want an ocean
And some sunscreen lotion....
I wanna be a lifeguard
Help! Help! Help!

So Blotto's playing the El Mocambo.

Tom Williams calls.

Have a Sun reader contest, he sez.

Page Six up on the ElMo's famous palm tree marquee?

Page Six presents Blotto!

Tom said I'd love the band.

His Attic Records label had all Blotto's hits.

We'd have many drinks, Tom promised.

I'd introduce Sarge and da boys.

Then have more drinks.

Blotto played Lifeguard that night.

It was their MTV hit.

More drinks.

My head hurt so bad from Heineken.

Here is The Best Song of Any Summer.

Me listen. Then me go surf.

Tom is always right.

More moves than Allied Van Lines?

Yes.

Blotto: Surf's up

    "Call me if there's a problem.... "

"How many years will we cram into one"

z

Ben Folds is writing new songs in Melbourne.

This, from a day ago. 

For your mental health

 

 What did penguins do during the covid lockdown?

Jonny Auping supplies a fun list to the New Yorker.

"One penguin took a picture of a bunch of other penguins not
social-distancing and posted it online."

20 more things penguins did at

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/more-activities-that-penguins-have-been-permitted-during-lockdown

 

Innocent question

Is the guy who keeps repeating "Kung Flu" aware that twice this week, cable news guests have called him Fat Nixon, and Fat Elvis?

Who farted?

 

Great moments in CanCon

The modern whoopee cushion was invented in the 1920s by the JEM Rubber Co. of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, by employees who were experimenting with scrap sheets of rubber. 

Experimenting, eh?

Safer for sure than matches and blue flame ... 

"It's too long to be Macaque..."

If... 'it's too long to be macaque' 
made you laugh, click play.
Web zoomaster zefrank1
has never been punnier.

Three states abutting Florida have set up
border controls to discourage Gator State-r travel.
Gators must become hermits for 14 days.
New York & Connecticut to Florida: Don't Come.
Swamp refugees are not welcome.
Went to a gator refuge once on vacation.
They kept to themselves.
They don't need us.
Later, gators. 

Are You Having Fun Yet? 

This is the summer of No Fun.

Send cheese.

I'm starving.

Less work for the future

As John Bolton hippity-skips along his  sell-my-book steeplechase, opinion is divided.
Best case: he was a guardrail who saw too much
Worst case: by "saving" his Trump secrets for the book, he betrayed The Oath and the republic

But I look on the bright side:
There will be no monument of him for future
WTF crowds to tear down.

 

Down where it's cool and dark

Roz Chast is the New Yorker's most prolific cartoonist:
Over 800 cartoons in the magazine over 40 years.

Get a daily mailing of cartoons and laughs to any e-box,  just sign up
at
https://www.newyorker.com/humor

I am the lyrebird. I will shoot you.

Are you one of the EIGHT MILLION
humans who've seen this minute?

Note to self: first a flamingo and now this?
Call doctor or Nurse Jane Fuzzywuzzy.
Covid Alienation Syndrome.

He's such a pretty bird ...

He's back! 

Madawaska River flamingo

Combermere bridge 

Bent Anchor Beach Bar

Your baby beaver moment of Zen

Damn cute.
Also, dam cute.

This is definitely not about Oz ....

"Why then oh why can't I ..."

"Me and my band been workin' up some new toonz..."

Why does water rush out to sea?

Breaking News: Toilets are flushing

We're basically just sleepy

Netflix e-mails I really have to see their new movie.

It cost millions.
We know what you watch.
We know what you'd like.
Take a look.

And even tho I lost 10 years of my life, slumped slack-jawed last week thru Netflix's  The Wrong Missy, I am an easy mark. That Missy flick is more powerful than Melatonin.

So Netflix flickers to life on my tube.
The hyped movie starts.
The black screen opens to a dark, ominous voice: 
dude's running late 'cause the gas container his hand fills on screen had to be diesel.
"It burns slower."

CUT  TO  
screaming man in bathtub, being generously spritzed with diesel.

Now here is today's quiz.
Do you instantly
(a) leap out of chair, bruising knee in process
(b) yell so loud the dog runs for his hideyhole
(c) curse Slasher, who lives behind couch
(d) rush to electrical box and kill MAIN power
(e) look for the rest of the rum
(f) think: why did that guy get torched?
Take your time. I didn't.

Netflix? Algorithm? Do you really know me?
I know I watched two Jason Stathams last week, 
but Sweet Jesus! 
Have a heart.

Innocent question

Z

Justin Trudeau has now offered two pregnant pauses when asked about Trump's actions and the US civil rights protests.

He responds, after dramatic effect, with generalized comparable concern about Canada.

He repeatedly includes the word "racialization" in his answers.


Is "racialization" the issue-neutral word privileged pale people newly use to dodge more specific questions?

Racialization is ... the act or process of imbuing a person with a consciousness of race distinctions ... or of giving a racial character to something

So this would be a good word for ...

. Whites who think non-whites don't know they're not white?

. The rainbow who think whites don't know they're white?

. Aliens ... who think we're all just ants.

If there isn't a focus group in Trudeau's pocket, who brain-doodle that this foggy word-use keeps him out of trouble,  
I am an ant.

moon night

Bunker boy

z

Living on Cheetohs and canned bile?