Some would have you believe bears prowl rural Ontario garbage dumps. Since the dumps are now gated, cottagers can no longer take their Young Ones to the nightly Bear Show, so there is no proof.

There has not been a photo of a kid sitting on a bear's shoulders since 1995.

Today, the better-tended Ontario garbage pits are under the firm and direct control of The Dump Monkey, an all-powerful figure who has seized power from the bears.

Obey your Dump Monkey.

Or feel his wrath.