Monday, April 03, 2023

Things I learned over the weekend

 

. Hippopotamuses can't  swim. They bounce along the bottom.

. Stormy Daniels chose her stage name as a tribute to rock band Mötley Crüe.

. Twitter postings are described as "doom-scrolling in a cesspool" in the Atlantic.  Exactly. Perfect. Tweet-able.

. If you freeze a Mento in an ice cube, you can wait-watch to cola-bomb your friends. Or get out of there.

. The CBC bought six episodes of Beachcombers for its GEM streaming platform. It then slapped a harsh trigger warning on four of them, and spiked two not to show at all. The CBC had 50 years to watch them before purchase. Hilarious.

. Major League Baseball made the bases bigger to make it easier to steal and make the game more exciting. Good luck with that. Somebody tell them about firecrackers.

. The largest human bum-splitting turd ever recorded is eight inches long, two inches wide and is believed to have come out of a Viking. It's in a museum. If you've seen bigger, call Guinness. If it's yours, call a doctor.

. When multiple sea otters float together, it's known as a raft. Some hold hands while snoozing. Aww. Incels get no Otter Action.

. Most squirrel bites originate at the front--or 'bitey end'--of the squirrel. This is also true of cats. Never look in their eyes. Tail end. Always.


GIF: Scott Metzger

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