Sunday, February 14, 2021

Down a Deadwood worm hole...

 

 
I've spent most of the week down a Deadwood wormhole.
 
The famous HBO series elbows The Sopranos, Breaking Bad and The Wire in that handful of shows as good as TV ever got.
 
Deadwood was a bawdy, foul-mouthed frontier western that's been off the air 15 years. Imagine if Our Town, Reservoir Dogs and Satan had a baby.
 
There's only a taste of it in the trailer here....
 
 
 

I was looking for interviews with show creator David Milch, which is how I stumbled across the dozens of hour-plus interviews the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) has been putting online for more than a decade.

Everybody is there.

You can spend an hour or more with Helen Mirren, Robin Williams, Matt Damon, Leonardo Dicaprio, Colin Farrell, each showing off before a loving audience of their showbiz union peers.

Some interviewers are a tad twee or sketchy, but the famous actors simply grab the rudder and start telling rowdy or oft-told tales.
 
I've now watched two dozen. My faves would be John Krasinski's  hour of stories from The Office and after ... 
 
And for anyone seeking nostalgia, Burt Reynold's bittersweet and hilarious swan song, taped in 2006. 

 

Reasonable facsimile

 --Karl Mueller book art 
 
Karl Mueller did the crazy covers for both books of Page Six column recyclings, as well as the Sun's Rimmer cartoon strips and Fuddy & Lardette
 
Yo Mule!
Still crazy after all these years?
High five.


Yes, I am in the basement, trying to spare my sister a decade of dusting.
 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Shots in arms

 

 New stats ....

                            *   *   *   *

Canada co-vid vaccine doses given per 100,000 population

Northwest Territories             29,134  doses given p/100,000

Yukon                                       27,110 doses given

Nunavut                                   15,795 doses given

Prince Edward Island               5,722 doses given

Saskatchewan                            3,972 doses given

Manitoba                                    3,817 doses given

Quebec                                        3,272 doses given

Alberta                                        3,170 doses

British Columbia                        3,167 doses

Ontario                                        3,003 doses p/100,000 

Newfoundland                            2,819 doses

New Brunswick                          2,386 doses 

 

The CBC's Covid Tracker is newly updated....

LINK: CBC CO-VID TRACKER                                

Friday, February 12, 2021

Happy New Year!

 

 
Go Ox, go!
Happy lunar New Year!
The Year of the Rat is over.
Welcome the year of the Ox!
  
 The ox is a symbol of hardworking attitudes and reliability because of its role in agriculture.
 
The giant ox above is in ... Wuhan. 

He's a creature of the night....

 

If the Superbowl were as entertaining as the gang at Bad Lip Reading, it would last eight minutes.

Here, Sunday's game highlights with new dialogue and voices.

The longer it goes on, the more inspired it gets....

                            *   *   *   *

Postscript: Facebook claims the clip above has drawn objections. You can imagine your own reasons why that might be....

Can we please have more folks at the front?

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Bald daily

 
Benjamin Rich--better known as YouTube's Bald and Bankrupt--has gone daily.
 
Famous for his off-route wanderings around post- Soviet states and the Indian sub-continent, he's now posting daily dispatches, a video diary of the off-beat and obscure.
 
Bald drinks with drunks and charms babushkas.
 
He's never seen a piece of Soviet-era junk or abandoned building he doesn't find charming.
 
Bald's sunny, funny disposition is at odds with the eerie, desolate or desperate places he explores. He's just left Estonia, is now in Ukraine.
 
If you are unaware of Rich's channel, he was once bankrupt, is bald and survived covid last year in a Serbian hospital.

As introduction, Bald's attempt to take a dump in Serbia, and yesterday's posting from his first day in Ukraine....
 

Tuesday, February 09, 2021

Comparison shopping with $25,000

 

The legend goes that in Wayne Gretzky's rookie season and a few years after, Oilers owner Peter Pocklington locked the kid in a warehouse.
 
There, The Wayner would sign Titan model 2020 hockey sticks until his arm gave out. 
 
The Pock would give the sticks to his friends and biz folk as team promotion.
A guy at the Sun got five of them!
 
How else would I have one?
 
The Titan sticks, which Wayne preferred in his early years, go on e-bay for about $1,500.
 
A game-used autographed stick goes for $6,500.
 
So would you rather have a pair of Nike sneakers never worn by 46 presidents ...
 
Or FOUR autographed Gretzky Titan 2020s Wayne actually played with?
 
There's only one of him. 


Hyperpriced Hyperdunks

 

Oh happy day!
 
With a minimum bid of $25,000US, Sotheby's auction house is offering Barack Obama
Nike Hyperdunk sneakers.
 
Are these game worn?
No.
So they've never been on his feet?
No.
So they're just one of two sets of custom shoes?
Yes.
Priced at more than $25 grand?
 
If there's a buyer out there for this, would you be interested in some stinky Trump sweatsocks?
 
A set of irons from the sure-to-be-upcoming line of Trump Golf Gear? 
 
Oh wait! How 'bout some hockey sticks?

LINK: Obama Hyperdunk Sneaker Show 

Monday, February 08, 2021

Jeep® | The Middle

Every troll and mean tweeter has something to say about Bruce Springsteen's Jeep ad.

At the moment, there are nearly 7,000 "comments" on--apparently--the most notable thing to happen yesterday.

The most pertinent: "It is very brave of Jeep to leave the YouTube comments open on this."

The predictable negative response is running about to 10-to-1. "Virtue signalling" is the kindest of these screeds.

But sad music and Springsteen's unity homilies do provoke some inspired backlash:

"Is this from his new album, Born to Vomit?"

"Rich celebrities and corporations need to shut up."

"When did we reunite? Did I miss it?"

"Let's pretend we like Republicans..."

"This is worse than the Kylie Jenner Pepsi ad."

"I wonder how Jeep dealerships feel today?"

"Jeep? You're a car company."

"I'm still buying a Bronco..."

                            *   *   *

About 9 p.m. last night, a bud texted me: "What did you think of The Weeknd's halftime show?"

"What is this Bowl you speak of?" I sent back.

                            *   *   *

Where is The Middle copywriter this afternoon?

In hiding? Certainly not in ... The Middle.

                            *   *   *   *

Postscript: This Jeep ad was promptly removed from YouTube three days after the Super Bowl. By that point, there were more than 12,000 negative comments that mocked it.

LOST SONGS: Nancy White, Gaelic Envy

"If it's not Celtic, we don't want to hear it

If you don't play bagpipe, shut your gob ..."

                         *    *   *

There was a time in this fair land, when the railroads did not run. 

And after that, a period where much of the Canuck music scene was run by the Mc-somethings and the Mac-talented.

Only our official national diarist of the damned wrote and sang a song about it.

Nancy White apparently plays bagpipe.

Who knew?

 LINK: 20 Nancy White songs


Jonestown 2021

"The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own."
--Frank Zappa 

 

Sunday, February 07, 2021

What Canada could do to take advantage of the lull in COVID-19 vaccine shipments

--cbcnews.com

 A lull?

A LULL?

verb: calm or send to sleep, typically with soothing sounds or movements.

noun: a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity

Hush-a-bye my babies.

The CBC Covid Vaccine Tracker has not been updated in a week. 


LINK: CBC COVID VACCINE TRACKER
 

   

 

 

I am increasingly stupid

 

                          --above, BBC 2020 Grand Final

Jeopardy is hosted by wannabees.

The beloved I.Q. is now four failed British comics and someone who is not Stephen Fry.

But days ago, I discover BBC's University Challenge on YouTube and have now gobbled down more than a dozen of them. 

I am addicted to University Challenge.

This despite ...

.  I not only don't know the answers, I usually don't even understand the questions. This is a game show for viewer dimwits.

.  It's only accidentally amusing. But a studio audience laughs in all the right places.

.  I have dream fantasies about Jeremy Paxman, the quizmaster, who is 70. This can't be good. He is dour, direct, unflinching. (I double-checked dour.)

A longtime BBC news presenter, British tabs and the Guardian call him "Paxo." 

Dunf and Paxo. I like it.

 
What is the appeal of a show whose 20-30 year-old contestants spout obscure kings, countries, math theories, authors and forgotten bands?

(I typed "theorums" in that sentence, probably to show off. There is no such word. Google: what is the plural of theory? Theories. Changed.)

Aside from the young brains at work, it's how the whizkids cunningly eliminate the possible wrong answers, and like Sherlock Holmes, track down the best possibility.

And if you don't know, say "Beethoven."

(I just looked up whiz kid. More than one whiz kid is just one word: whizkids. See how stupid? I thought it was two words. Fixed.)

And I think one piece of the UC set is part of the set from IQ in what looks like the same studio. The ghost of Stephen Fry.

A friend signed up for Netflix two weeks ago and has just cancelled. "There's nothing there for me," she decided. I watched Malcolm and Marie last night. I'm not sure why.

If there weren't a pandemic that has exhausted so many options, would I be watching University Challenge?  

I hope so.

I don't want to be this stupid.

Right, Paxo?

There are 10 shows left to this year's 2021 Grand Final. They're up on YouTube as they air.

 LINK: ALL 2021 UC EPISODES
 

There's no such word as theorum? That's because I spelled it wrong. The math concept is ... theorem.

 

        

Honey, I'm in the garage

--nisssan 
 
When covid, mortages, food bills and nervous breakdowns drive us from our homes, it's good to know we can still troll the internet in a Nissan Caravan with office pod.
 
It is our only true happiness.
Is worth not measured in Facebook likes?
 
I see Walmart parking lots filled with these things, since you can tan on the roof between mean tweets.
 
And for that last surviving two per cent, it's "Honey, I'm in the garage...."
 
 

 

 

Friday, February 05, 2021

Zoodraws

 
Brian Ahearn has been drawing animal cartoons since he was a school kid.
 
He calls his zoodraws comics "amazingly true animal facts, drawn in ridiculously relatable ways." Could he and zefrank1 be brothers?
 
Your new daily webstop:
 
I like his two honeybadgers. "I came to eat honey and kick ass," sez the first. The second badger: "I'm all out of honey."
 

Dancing big stuff

Is it covid or just February?

Things are getting v-e-r-y silly....

LOST SONGS: Kenny Loggins - Sweet Reunion

 

 So we meet again, my long-lost friend

Once again we get to start anew

And it's feelin' like a thousand years

I been lovin' you

Girl, if you've been waiting here for someone near

Searchin' the world for fame

Come on in, I've been expecting you

Sweet reunion, welcome home again

=============

An obscure song on an obscure album...

Mark Russo is the sax player, before he joined the Doobie Brothers and Yellowjackets.

==========  

 

Whatever happens, nothing's ever gonna be the same

Now you're finally here at last

Your love's released me from the past

My heart and soul have always remembered your name...


 

Thursday, February 04, 2021

Wednesday, February 03, 2021

Canada has said it regrets a “misunderstanding” after a Canadian diplomat in China ordered a custom T-shirt showing the word “Wuhan” over the bat-like emblem of hip-hop group Wu-tang Clan...  --Reuters

 

And we also apologize to Batman. 

Pass the guano. 
 

You want fries with that?

--amazon HQ design in Virginia
 
Imagine amazon's proposed HQ, covered with snow, on Toronto's waterfront. 
 
Dairy Queen weeps.
Who wants a Peanut Butter Blizzard?
 
--Dairy Queen HQ in Minnesota

LOST SONGS: Nichols & May, The Dentist

"He'll loathe me for having a cavity...

"I've taken a job in a leper colony... "

Mike Nichols. Elaine May.

As good as it gets.

And before "improv" became a dirty word.

Gauze, please. Scalpel. Clamp. More gauze.

"But doctor! This patient will die!" 

Spot's Got an Arm!

Doesn't every robot dog want to play in the snow?

It takes a while to open that door, tho.

How many research millions teach Spot to scoop dirty laundry and put it on his butt?

Echorus

It's weird how Philip Glass' repetitive drones have turned out to be my pandemic soundtrack.

Every time my classical music feed 

lobs another micro earworm at me, I turn it up.

It's mental wallpaper.

Tuesday, February 02, 2021

Another rodent day

You didn't think it was real, did you?
 
Over and over and over again...

 

"Disturbingly healthy... even AFTER nine..."

Oh, the Lay-dees. They love hair goo.

A bud's blog post about '50s haircuts reveals women's deep attraction to head grease.

 

Smart laydees bring a butter knife to bed. You know, as the spot claims, "even after nine..."

LOST SONGS: "Preacher and the Bear"

Phil Harris' novelty tune was also a hit for Andy Griffith, the Jubalaires, Jerry Reed, the Big Bopper.

The tune is actually over 100 years old...

 

Talking dog

 

Over 43 million have watched this.

As the dog says at the end, "ohh!"

Monday, February 01, 2021

Tony Bennett, 94

Bennett with Queen Latifa in 2012....

LINK: Bennett's battle with Alzheimers 

Bennett in 1964 ....

New month! New Covid Monday!

Snow fever

 

 
Climate change skeptics take note:
 
Toronto declares alert for four inches of snow.
Weekend Washington DC goes nuts for its  "biggest" snow in two years: about two inches.
 
Breaking News: Accuweather red-lines the approach of a box of Frosted Flakes.
 

LINK: Snow pics in Washington Post 

Lead photo above:  Alex Brandon/AP

COVID prep chart

--BrankoMilanovik chart via Axios 
 
Ready or not, here it comes...

 

Christmas clearance!

Celebrate the end of snowbird flights to
sunny Mexico and the Caribbean!
 
Eat dirty snow, suckers.

 

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Goats available for ZOOM meetings...

A fine addition to any ZOOM meeting:
Goats on a Lancashire farm.
About $8.76 a visit.
Tip: A goat named Lisa specializes in "passive aggressive bleating."
 
Details at


Airport Dougie

"Donuts.... "

 

Tick ... tick ... tick....

 

Ontario to get zero shipments of Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine amid delivery delay

 

On Jan. 28, Ontario issued a significant correction to its vaccination data. According to officials, the number of completed vaccinations was inadvertently doubled. Officials said "the number of doses administered to achieve full vaccination" was counted rather than the number of people vaccinated.                 --CTV News

Due to a difference in data source, the percentage of Canadians vaccinated will appear higher in the world charts below than it does in our detailed Canadian data... This means that individuals in the following dataset are likely being double-counted when they receive their second dose, which could cause an exaggeration in the total percentage of people being vaccinated.                            --ctvnews.ca

 

LINK: CBC COVID DELIVERY TRACKER 

LOST SONGS: Great Big Sea July 2002

 

Great Big Sea hits Jacksonville, FL in 2002. 

The 30-minute set is from the Marquee Theater soundboard.

It went up on YouTube yesterday.

LINK: Alan Doyle interview w/Peter Howell

 

Good throw

Friday, January 29, 2021

Surf's up!

What better day to hit Lake Ontario?
 
BlogTO finds our winter hero:
Robbie Andison, Toronto's TikTok surfer...
Story and pics at

 

LOST SONGS: Alexander The Swoose ..

Aunt Peg's old 78s included this Kay Kyser tune, still my go-to party piece if I forget the words to The Nightmare Song from Iolanthe.

(When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and repose is taboo'd by anxieties ...)


Reset

--AidaAmer/Axios

 

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Slow roll

 


 If Canada Post delivered less than 1% of your mail, would you you be a happy camper?

Only about a quarter of ONE per cent of Canadians have received a covid vaccine dose.

Ditto for Ontarians.

Of the 411,650 vaccine doses in stock, Ontario has delivered 317,240. Only 96,459 of our 15 million got the required two shots.

That's a slow roll, even before vaccine makers warn they can't deliver previous promises.

At a rate of 1% a month, that would take  EIGHT YEARS to vaccinate 30 million. At 2%, four years. At 4%, two years.

I see on cbcnews.ca this morning, a plaintive line: 

Every Canadian politician no doubt understands the political and human importance of this country seeming to do well in this multinational competition. 

"Seeming to do well?"

Seeming?

Doug Ford wants to plant a firecracker up a  Pfizer's boss's ass. Get a second one for Doug.

The feds are having an "emergency debate."

We're going thru the motions. 

Of seeming.

LINK: CBC COVID DELIVERY TRACKER 

Theremin rock

The creepy voice of a thousand sci-fi and horror films, rocks out...

How to get snow off the roof

Lots of good ideas here, and only one new one.

The device at 7.50 is called a Snowpeeler.

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Kiss me, I'm vaccinated

 

"On Tinder, vaccine mentions in user bios rose 258 percent between September and December," the N.Y. Times reports.

  • “Those who have gotten the vaccine are using their status as a way to spark conversation with potential matches,” Tinder spokesperson Dana Balch told the Times.
  •  
  • “Basically, getting the vaccine is the hottest thing you could be doing on a dating app right now,” OK Cupid spokesperson Michael Kaye told the Times.

                                              *   *   *   *

Jab me, hug me, kiss me ... make me do bad things.

 

Owl's well

 


FInal clearance!

 
If you've ever been to the Guinness Records museum in Niagara Falls, TS Messy advises everything ever displayed there is up for auction.
(It closed last fall.)
  The biggest, the creepiest, etc.
Hurry! The auction ends Feb. 12.
 

I have my eye on a very cheesy-looking  six-foot-long plastic cheetah, a steal at $325 bid.

LINK: Plastic cheetah

 


 

Souviens-toi de moi


 

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Alert the troops

 

 
10 centimeters of snow, Toronto?
That's smaller than a playing card.
 
 
If a guy had 10 cms, there'd be no alert.

 

Happy Australia Day, rooters!

If you've never known any Australians, you've missed a s--tload of laughs and late nights. 

On this, their national day, raise a Coopers Brewery Original Pale Ale.

And now, please stand... and party.

LINK: ABC-Australia Events (youtube.com) 


 

Pizza, pizza, pizza...

Plant-based pepperoni?
Pizza Nova, what have you done?
 
BlogTO discovers Sohmer's Pizza...
Opens at 3pm Wednesday, sells out in 5 minutes
 
And if you know of the Bent Anchor, the "beach bar" under the bridge in Combermere, ON...
Bent PIZZA is now open where the Village Market used to be ...
(Wed-Sunday, 3-7pm)