Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Canadians are bad spellers

 

 
Cue slow boil ...

Your ass is grass


 

The bird's the word


 

PERFORMANCE: Lake Street Dive - "I Want You Back"

 

oh baby, give me one more chance
won't you please let me back in your heart…

 

 

Lake Street Dive is a five member group out of Boston. Rachael Price is the singer.

Their sequel to the debut Fun Machine album is just out, 10 years later.

They play Radio City Music Hall in NYC next week, then Washington.

 

Clip:  Original Fun Machine promo, Boston street (2012)

These are my Salad Days

 
--via James Wells

 

No more marinara

 
Flowers to Mrs. Boyardee,
his mama mia

 

Hum them to heaven

 
 
"And now, if you'll check your sheet music,
let's send Bob on his way to heavenly glory with
The Beer Barrel Polka.... "

 

35 psi and holding

 

 
 
Don't let her see the blow up doll.
 
 

Monday, August 29, 2022

You got any spare change?


 

Fact and fiction

 
 
--via Dan Chandler

 

Reptile Tinder

 


Flames! Tidal waves! Terror!

_

Its not too late, with love we can climb
It's not too late, not while we're living ...


Before Netflix, the Hallmark Channel and Dancing with the Stars, the best hope for any washed-up star was a big disaster flick.

In two clever mash-ups, fun-makers paste  screaming disaster scenes over the big power ballads Maureen McGovern belts under the closing credits.

The resulting two-minute clips are unintentionally goofy.

Above, a cruise liner flips upside down in The Poseidon Adventure and stars scramble, like rats. Water, fire, hysteria!

Below, a skyscraper explodes in flames and crowds of familiar faces spin in helpless terror in The Towering Inferno. Cheese-y effects, panic!

All while Maureen sings …

Let's leave a mark, a candle in the dark
But thru the days, beyond the haze
I don't know just where or when
I'm sure … we'll love again.

 

 

Design fail


 

He was ghosted

 
Before Facebook, there were pennies.

 

Kiddie porn

 
Have you seen the 
Night Walkers of Wilno?
 
The dreaded undead 
who crawl out of the grave 
to stroll the back roads 
of eastern Ontario?
 
They look like this.
 
 

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Oh be joyful

 
Hey, how's your weekend bro?
 
 
Image: boredpanda

 

Don't un-plug Grandma!

 
Spoilers: They killed Granny.
 
And Bell still sucks.

 

The kid is high on corn!

 

This kid is cranked.

The current roadside corn crop is Too Much Wow for any local drug dispensary.

Corn is legal across Canada and all U.S. states.

What are you this excited about?

(2 mins)

 

Clip: The CEO of Corn -  #cornboy

 

 

COTTAGE LIFE: The Burning of the Couch

 
An end-of-summer tradition,
quickly followed by run to emergency.

 

New cat drinking game

 
Kinda like Jenga.
 
If you wake the cat
putting on another Cheez-It,
you lose. 
 

 

Dunkin' Dimwits

_

Fan uses hot dog as beer straw ... 

plus a dog dipper guy at a baseball game.

Warning: 43 seconds from now, your life will never be the same

 

Owl's well that ends well

 
 
Owl be seeing you.

 

Only takes a second

 
At least one key cleaned, apparently.

 

Horny kid

 
A unicorn is more pointy.

 

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Getting jiggy with it

 
You got Saturday Night Fever?

 

Ringing in The Future

_

 

Did yuu know us guys can call other guys from the truck? What will they think of next?

Look at these guys!

Wait for the ring!

Clip: Bell Telephone ad (1940) 

 

Jet lag birdmen

 
Aislin / Montreal Gazette 
 
 

Into the air, junior birdmen
Into the air, upside down

Into the air, junior birdmen
Keep your nose up in the brown

And when you see all those birdmen
With their shiny wings of tin
Then you will know the junior birdmen
Have sent their boxtops in!
 
 

Better living thru chemistry

 


Stone Age Vitamins

 
 Pebbles was actually a rock
and hard as hell to chew.

 

Friday, August 26, 2022

Goldieyawks

 
Who was that bad little blonde calling?

 

The Treasures of Dunf-a-lago

 
Hey, everybody takes something when they go.
 
In my case, boxes of column art,
historic collectibles (above)
and photos I "forgot" to return
to the Sun library. 

So I feel for Trump wanting to keep his 
Chairman Kim Jong-un love letters.

At the Dunf-a-lago museum
in eastern Ontario,
we make cute little cards
explaining what each object 
means.

Above, Greg, Allan and Gary Slaight
"laying their finger alongside
 their nose"
having played Santa Claus
to so many radio people.

Summer/Fall Display:  
The CBC's hand-made
 "The Radio Show"
cup.
 
 
Unlike crappy radio station cups,
each cup for Jack Farr's
beloved Saturday radio show
was hand-made 
by artisan elves
in Jim Millican's 
enchanted treehouse.

Dunf-a-lago 
is currently closed 
for rodent control.

THANK YOU, MR. ANNOUNCER! I FEEL SWELL!

_

 

Gosh! Golly! Gee!

How long since you felt  ... Swell?

Is that a word you've heard the kids use?

Swell? 

Watching the 40 seconds above, I had this tingle.

I think I felt  ... swell. 

I may use "swell" in a sentence.

Who wants to tickle me?

Would you rather feel "swell" or "groovy"?

Okay, I'll stop. 

I see you're not feeling ... the ... lingo.

You lack jive.


867-5309


 





"Cats don't care if you're crazy"


 

See?

 
See?
 
Maine coon cat, 27 pounds.
 
Crazy lady, who also purrs. 

 

How you joined the Canadian Club

 

"Damn right your dad drank it.
 
"He went out.
He got two or three numbers
in the same night.
He drank cocktails.
Served in a rocks glass.
They tasted good.
They were effortless."
 
 *   *   *

It took two bottles 
to make a kid.
 

Thursday, August 25, 2022

Howdy bear!

 
You know the bears 
researchers drug and tag
in the name of science?
 
Then they take selfies.
 
Here's the paw of an unconscious
grizzly bear. 
 
See you (and him)
on our next portage!
 
 

Ryan Reynolds presents ....

 

 
 
Love at First Light?
Crash Test Buddies?
You Had Me At Airbag?


Businesses you can run from home

 
Try it on Granny first ...

 

PERFORMANCE: Boz Scaggs - Breakdown (Dead Ahead)

_

Unlike so many career-dead Heroes of Yacht Rock, Boz Scaggs is on the road this summer.

He's rocking Iowa tomorrow.

Boz doesn't need the money.

But with a young band and killer backup singers like this, fans flip for throw-back faves.

Also on Scaggs' Outta the Blues tour: the Robert Cray band, in this space tomorrow.

Clip: Breakdown live, Boz (Album: Six Degrees)

 

 

THE HIT: Boz Scaggs - Lowdown

 

"When I listen to Boz Scaggs, so do my neighbors.... "

Charted to #38 (1976)

 

Big Gulp and Butthead

 
Makin' waves at the corner store ... 

 

Secrets of the Hockey Gods

 
The ladies love them some mullets.

 

Anti-viral obstacle course