Now needs therapy ...
Wednesday, November 30, 2022
Shades of the past
From 1983, a bouncy pop novelty song.
How far we've come.
Clip: Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun - Julie Brown
Tuesday, November 29, 2022
_Who roasts a chestnut?
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up in winter clothes..."
Wait a minute!
Is that how The Christmas Song goes?
Yesterday, in the annual onslaught of holiday albums by New Artists for Big Bucks, I heard the song by a female vocalist, with this bumpy revision above to the original.
Mel Torme and Robert Wells wrote it 77 years ago, munchkins.
From Nat King Cole's first recording in 1945, to Shawn Mendes and Meghan Trainor in 2020, Josh Groban, Jacob Collier, Michael Buble all sing the original lyric: " ... and folks dressed up like Eskimos."
Yes, the word has been out of date for decades, and as we advanced, replaced by less questionable, more preferable nouns.
So let's revise all the songs.
. The Lady Is Kind of a Karen (The Lady is a Tramp)
. The Gentleman is Learning Challenged (The Gentleman is a Dope)
. Young But Possibly Dyslexic (Young and Foolish)
You can read what the American Heritage Dictionary has to say about the E-word here.
How far back in time do we have to go to flag words and people to show how woke we are in the purer-than-thou present?
What if we devoted the same zeal to solve a few current issues? The ones sure to be red-flagged 77 years from now by future word police?
Just asking.
Cool cavemen
"It's made from one hundred per cent dinosaur-based petroleum products."
skeletonclaw.com
P.C. Vey for newyorker.com
Spice up the holiday holiday party
Why go with a punchbowl when you could pre-pour drinks and set up something like this?
You be a gangsta.
Monday, November 28, 2022
What's wrong with Kitty Puss?
Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie in their classic routine that still kills after a half century.
If you've never seen it, put down any liquid you're drinking.
No cue cards and they stick the landing.
Clip: Hugh Laurie's Kitty Puss - A Bit Of Fry And Laurie BBC
_
Sunday, November 27, 2022
Butt-dialing with Elon Musk
_Does Elon Musk want to be president?
Or is it just coincidence that he uses Twitter the same way Donald Trump did to grease his path to power? Musk's can't-look-away trolling plops him into every news cycle.
The random insults. The feuds with Stephen King, no-name techs and celebrities. The re-tweets of tropes he hasn't thought twice about.
Is this just butt-dialing?
Or did Elon really spend $44 billion to put his daily poop in our lives cause his ego drives him to be King of the Hill?
Only 25% of Americans have ever used Twitter.
But just as they did with Trump, newshounds chase any Musk e-mutter as if it were News. They bring his mug and madness into cyberspace and the world press.
His rogue behavior makes no sense--
Unless he's establishing himself for something even bigger.
Musk-Trump? Surely not Trump-Musk?
Elon takes the sting out of Donald.
And doubles the crazy.
More likely, it's beyond 2024.
A day ago, Musk said he'll back Florida governor Ron DeSantis in 2024, not Trump.
Does Elon fancy himself as king-maker, or someday, King Himself? He has billions to throw away and a social loudspeaker that newbiz saps will broadcast to the rest of the planet.
Both U.S. parties are looking for someone who isn't eighty-fucking years old.
If Oprah, Michelle Obama and DeSantis can be in the mix, what are Elon's midnight fantasies?
More than Twitter for sure.
Graphic: Axios
HELLO BROTHER - LOUIS ARMSTRONG
David Marsden has this on his Facebook page.
One of many re-posts of the beach babies.
And easily the oddest video of the week.
James
Pat Metheny's best-loved album is Offramp.
When Lyle Mays' piano romps at the three minute mark, any damn bad week gets brighter.
If it's a tough time, come into the light ...
Song: "James" - Pat Metheny & Lyle Mays Offramp (1982)
What is cloth made of?
_
No plastic bags, no paper bags, so now we bring corrugated cardboard boxes.
The trees are laughing at us.
Pound them into more pulp.
We be eco.
Saturday, November 26, 2022
Guilty as charged
What do I do with 210 VHS tapes of every great movie of 70s and 80s?
Also have two working VHS players and ... dear god, a Betamax.
There are 68 Beta tapes for that.
I live in fear of a door knock from Hoarders.
Friday, November 25, 2022
Al Mair ( 1940 - 2022 )
_Al Mair's life in the music biz brought mainstream attention to Triumph, Patsy Gallant, Hagood Hardy, The Nylons, Katrina & The
Waves, Haywire, Jennifer Warnes, Weird Al Yankovic, Creed, Anvil, Maestro
Fresh Wes, Teenage Head,
Lee Aaron, the Downchild Blues Band, Killer Dwarfs, Blotto and many others.
Co-founder of Attic Records,
with Tom Williams, Mair was recently named
a Companion of the Order of Canada
as a key music dude,
lynchpin of national music orgs and
mentor, cheerleader for artists
and pal to so many.
Wake up World!
Smokey Bear's slab-like muscles glisten in the morning sun. Furry bear pecs, oh my.
Smokey's hug-me-tight jeans zipper strains to conceal his naughty bear parts.
And those eyes! Those bedroom eyes! Bear in the streets, bear between the sheets. Yeah, baby.
I can see why the Woke Internet is so hot and bothered over Smokey's sexy turn in yesterday's Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Can a balloon strut? Word to your mama.
This bear wants to do more than cuddle.
Smokey be jacked. This bear be 80% gym rat.
But Twitter is a-woke and scared:
"Why is Smokey Bear being sexualized?"
"Is the Smokey balloon a DILF?"
"His pecs make me very uncomfortable..."
"Remove the pecs! They are distracting!"
The odd outcry has reached online screamers, news sites and Fox. Apparently Buffalo didn't get all the snowflakes. We're talking about a balloon.
I did see one woman's tweet that seemed reasonable ...
"Smokey Bear looks buff. I will prevent forest fires Mr. Bear. I promise."
I'm with her.
Take us to your cave, you hot, brawny bastard.
Rip us and strip us, bare ass and bear ass.
Make us hibernate, you fuzzy damn sex devil.
Grrrrrrr!
Why look! Here comes Smokey's irresistible hey-you-wanna-piece-of-me minute in the parade right now!
Please, no excessive drooling...
Do not let your children's stuffed bears see this footage.
Under A Winter's Moon
There's a new Loreena McKennitt holiday album out for folkies, music buffs and Celt wannabees.
Under a Winters Moon was recorded in live concerts by the celebrated Canadian composer, harpist and singer.
She's on tour in Ontario a week from now, starting in Stratford and plays Toronto Dec. 10 and 11. Other stops shown below.
There's an odd promotional sample above, with snippets from all the cuts on the double album, apparently edited with a steak knife.
(7 mins)
Dance like it's the end of the movie
_
Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell rehearse the dance that rolls with the end credits of Spirited, a holiday musical based on a Dickens story.
In theaters and on AppleTV.
Dancing with the Stars, please call.
Thursday, November 24, 2022
Run for your lives, kids!
Guppy in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade goes mental, injures two kids, a cop and three neon tetras. Police chief: "Thank god no muskies were involved."
TURKEY DROP: Birds fall on Cincinnati ...
_
The greatest radio station promotion of all time!
The Day WKRP's helicopter dropped turkeys on the terrified citizens of Cincinnati.
"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly,"the station boss claims.
The best-remembered moment of the series and actually based on a real promo at a Texas radio station.
Over to you, Less Nessman ...
(4 mins)
Clip: WKRP in Cincinnati - CBS, 1978
Richard Saunders
_
Wednesday, November 23, 2022
Where happiness begins
Songs:
When the Merry-Go -Round Breaks Down - Cliff Friend and Dave Franklin
Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies - Carl Stalling
We love you Daffy Duck
"My name is Daffy Duck
People say I'm loon-ey
I'm like an old piano
A little out of tune-ey ... "
Surely somebody besides me has heard and seen Daffy sing this, followed by duck hoots and nutty howls that must have put Mel Blanc in bed for a week.
Yet nowhere in the sprawling web hive mind-space can I find a clip of what was easily Daffy's most adorable intro.
Lesser Warner Brothers characters are all over YouTube, yet my duck only gets a couple of clips from various TV incarnations.
Daffy has been around since 1938.
His original theater cartoons were epic.
He deserves more.
My four-line Daffy Duck mantra must be a later version of the above clip--where he sings all of The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down--which became half of the opening of every WB cartoon that rocked your world.
Some nights I sing "My name is Daffy Duck" in lieu of prayer. I too am out of tune-y.
See how I spend my Wednesday afternoons?
Weird.
_
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