dunf in space

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Just another working stiff

Get back, fools! It's Covid Christmas!

"He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself..."

We speak of course of Ontario Premier Doug Ford, Santa's tubby and less cheery brother, who has declared Santa an Essential Service.

"I have officially designated Santa Claus as an essential service provider and authorized to deliver toys, treats and good cheer to the children of Ontario," Premier Poohbah decrees. "I have also designated the Elves' Toy Workshop as an essential manufacturing business..."

So Santa and his innocents will get all the perqs given to doctors, nurses, support staff, hydro crews, tradesfolk, plexiglass-shrouded supermarket sacrificials, transit trolls and brave Big Box drones.

Primary perqs:

. Increased workloads and pandemic stress

. Little recognition of sacrifice

. No hazard pay for obvious risks

. Fistfights with angry scofflaws

. Never a thank you

And get this: Santa, elves and reindeer are exempt from any Covid cautions! No masks! No social distancing! Dirty Claus hands from house to house!

Lock down the North Pole Boxing Day.

Thanks Grand Poobah Ford!

Doug Ford

Today's word: Grand Poobah is a term derived from the name of the haughty character Pooh-Bah in Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado (1885). In this comic opera, Pooh-Bah holds numerous exalted offices, including "First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral ... Archbishop."

CHRISTMAS SHOPPER: Goldfish Carrier

Is Bubbles your emotional support animal?

This handy Goldfish Carrier is perfect

for flights and trips to the grocery.

Psycho

"Congratulations. Very scary four years."

--KimWard/NewYorker newsletter

Pickle poking

Christmas Pickles reproducing...

Friday, December 18, 2020

Lake Freeze

--Joan Boulding photo

Don't know why I feel like crying...

Full moon's rising thru the trees

Mountains hug the night horizon

Just in case the lake might freeze

Don't know why i feel like sighing

Now I lay me down to sleep

But midnight fires

And hydro wires

Scare the daylights out of me

Don't know why my eyes are misty

I'm afraid what I might see

Crystal cold

And growin' old

So afraid this lake might freeze

I'm so afraid the lake might freeze

--The Christmas Raccoons

LINK: "Lake Freeze" Rita Coolidge

Santa's got some moves

Christmas covid confessions

"Infant, kids, teens, young people, young adults, middle-aged with no conditions etc. have zero to little risk … so we use them to develop herd immunity … we want them all infected …"

--PAUL ALEXANDER, HHS science advisor, urging widespread infections that form the basis of Trump's inaction to prevent spread of the virus

=====

92% of Canadians say the US border should stay closed

82% say they wear a mask

73% say they'll take the vaccine

13% are bathing less

13% are over-eating

7% say they brush their teeth less

Keep your Christmas Pickle warm

Body temperature is good....

CHRISTMAS SHOPPER: Burger Beddy Bag

Perfect for foodies, The Burger Bag.

A bun to keep your buns warm,

plus you can hold the pickle.

Thursday, December 17, 2020

CHRISTMAS SHOPPER: Reaper Kitty t-shirt

Reaper Kitty t-shirt

Reminder: cats creep into bed, sleep on your face and suck your breath.

This t-shirt is a warning.

Don't be a statistic.

Weepy King

--WardSutton/NewYorker newsletter

Me too.

Clunker

"Aggressively flamboyant, homophobic, stereotypical and grossly inappropriate are just a few words that have been used to describe James Corden's performance in Netflix's The Prom."
--Los Angeles Times

Is this worse than Corden's turns in Cats and Into the Woods?

Uh, yeah.

Paul Lynde, Gig Young and Tony Randall weep.