And all he got was this sweater

 

T'was the flight before Christmas

The overnight red-eye Christmas eve from Los Angeles to Memphis...

Waiting for a train

 

Night watch

And ma in her kerchief

And I in my cap

Had just settled down

For a long winter's nap

 

When what to our wondering eyes

should appear.... but ...

 

Why?

 

Nice sweater, fido

 

Not a dog

_

T Rex, sporting new sweater at

London Natural History Museum, 2021

 

The Cratchits have holes in their jeans

 

Just another working class Christmas for the poor Cratchits.

Why they's jest folks like us, mama!

The knee hole is a nice touch.

The Cratchits are distressed.

I pray Santa brings them all ... shoes.

  

Resting before the show

--via karpishka

 

The Don't Weigh Me card

Mum's the word.

We're not fat.

We're sensitive.

Ask a doctor if this card is right for you. 

LINK: No more scales (CNN)

Ba-ba-LUUU

Just tell me the amount of money Amazon gave Javier Bardem to sing Cuban Pete and the endless rhumba reprises of chick chickie boom in Being the Ricardos.

 

Not enough.

 

Lead on, Macdoug

_

More Dougie quotes at

LINK: Ford Wisdom 

 

Santa baby

He sees you in the shower,

He knows when you're awake...

 

Who drank all the 'nog?

 

 

CHRISTMAS CRACKER: Michael Davis, juggler

Before phone cameras, social media and the Interflooxen, there were these ... performers?

Like, with ... acts?

Ornamental decor, 2021

Some see a meatball sub,

some see s--t on a shingle,

others see ... ?

 

In the drink

If you're even looking at this chart, the ice is too thin.

 

Snack attack

"Of course you feel great.

These things are loaded with antidepressants." 

 

The New Yorker shares the cartoons that got the most attention on Instagram this year.

LINK: New Yorker 

 

Krampus is here

_

Krampus comes for Grandma.

Krampus never forgets.

The longest, darkest night of the year

 

 

The Great Goat of Europe walks tonight!

Krampus kidnaps bad children.

 

Think of him as Santa's vacuum cleaner.

Krampus is the holiday wet job specialist,

clearing the decks for the Jolly Old Elf.

 

No need for Santa to carry extra lumps of coal.

Or risk slipping in kidnapped kiddo's tears.

 

There are so many bad children in 2021,

Krampus needs the longest night of the year

to catch them all.

What does he do with These Naughty Tots?

They are never seen again.

 

You think you can hide from his deliciously pointy fingernails and hot goat breath?

You're all grown up?

You think Krampus can't find you?

Guess again, grandma.

 

--liz rainey-smith woodprint