"Come on! Cough on me!"
Sunday, October 18, 2020
Saturday, October 17, 2020
Yo my tronah beezers!
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Be a hipster hero!
Just hit the link below and generate new T.O. slang!
LINK: https://torontoslanggenerator.com/
KID STUFF: Music Til Dawn
It's midnight. Quiet. Dark.
I'm a weird teen.
Soon to be a weird college student.
And eventually a weird adult.
So the youngest me is in bed, ear-holes fixed to a hand-me-down radio. It was old even then.
A sunny yellow dial.
Blue shadows ripple out the back, the glow of tubes.
My radio box smells funny if it's on too long.
Everyone in the house is asleep.
The witching hour strikes.
And what you hear above, begins.
Across the continent, radio's Music Til Dawn arrives, nighttime pal to truckers, insomniacs, lovers, students, soldiers, shift workers, writers, drunks, weird kids. Our imaginary six hour flight is airborne.
As midnight arrives in each time zone, NINE 50,000 watt clear channel signals ring out from the greatest stations in North America. Pro baritone pilots in each cockpit. All with killer pipes.
They hit every post in the theme.
Every night.
Before I ever see an airport, before a first beer, a first kiss, I am already in love with American Airlines.
What is this oddly comforting music they play? There are no vocals.
I imagine blinking planes high above me, winging to great places in the night. Somewhere in the early hours, I will fall asleep. American Airlines is the best and only airline in the world.
I try to hit the posts. In my best voice I say "WCBS, New York." And then "The Great Voice of the Great Lakes, WJR, Detroit." "American Airlines greets you ... with Music Til Dawn."
I fall asleep to Bob Hall in New York or Jay Andres in Chicago. Ditto Boston or Detroit. The show is in the air, everywhere. Clear and strong in Ottawa, Winnipeg, Toronto.
On the YouTube page where this clip lives on, you see in comments the crazy magic and memories this all-night radio show once commanded across the continent. Wherever you were, it was there with you.
If you could just get to midnight, you were home free.
When I hear this opening, my thoughts go instantly to dark bedrooms, glowing orange dials, high school crushes and college all-nighters. Drives to nowhere with buds. Laughs. Secrets.
Above, the clip reaches 1.10 ... and Ken Ackerman speaks.
I shiver, like a dog.
I am in love with radio.
Still.
‘Music ‘Til Dawn’ premiered April 13, 1953, and ran until Jan. 4, 1970.
Away!
If you're a fan of the Kingston ON sheepdog trials,
this overhead view of dogs working sheep will charm you.
Hope to see the Bah Squad, puppies and crowds again at
Grass Creek Park east of town next summer.
Friday, October 16, 2020
Today's Soap Suds
TRUMP: I MIGHT LEAVE COUNTRY IF I LOSE
MAGA RALLY LAUGHS
Wouldn't any country's immigration application
seek proof of income and pre-existing health conditions?
No points for deadbeats.
He's kinda quiet
The Silent Majority finally have a candidate.
=====
North Dakota COVID surge:So Bad a dead guy is on the ballot.
The state attorney general has decreed that David Andahl will remain on the ballot in the general election, even though it cannot be said he lives in District 8 or anywhere else.
--the daily beast
Tap it out
Brazilian senator caught hiding money 'between buttocks'
A Brazilian senator allied to far-right President Jair Bolsonaro was caught hiding money in his underwear during a police investigation into the diversion of public funds for fighting the coronavirus, local media reported on Thursday.
They found 30,000 reales ($5,300) in cash, part of which was discovered in Rodrigues's underwear, including "between his buttocks," said major outlets quoting sources from the investigation.
No wonder my grocery wants a card tap ...
Thursday, October 15, 2020
Trump TV
Several sources ran stories this week that younger members of the Murdoch family have their own idea of what to do with Fox TV when their Aussie media geezer papa passes.
It looks nothing like this.
Wednesday, October 14, 2020
Dippy?
What does "dippy" mean?
I called a book "delightful, wicked and dippy" the other day.
I web-checked the last.
Collins defines ''dippy'' as: ADJ slightly odd or unusual, but in a way that you find charming and attractive.
Also: "eccentric, especially in a pleasant or funny way."
So there.
It's GARBAGE DAY!
Every Wednesday, I take my trash to the dump.
I sing this like a fool, especially...
I got a bag of trash
I got my bag of trash
I walk it up and down,
I drag it up and down the road
How could she miss a man
Who drags a bag of trash down the road ?
Plus, I think I met Ben Folds' hookup
BOO!
Who will Homer vote for?
The tease above for this Sunday's annual Treehouse of Horror episode of The Simpsons is pretty scary, even for Halloween.
Still, nothing will ever compare to
Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes.
YouTube's algorithm knows me too well
This unsolicited minute is in my inbox this morning....
What cyber magic is this?
Is YouTube scanning my dreams?
Gad-zooks!
Tuesday, October 13, 2020
OH HAPPY PUBLICATION DAY
Oh magic midnight!
Can you hear the ding of Kindles?
Barbara Amiel--my Black Queen's memoir is out!
There will be no sleep this day.
Who will she spear at the Sun?
Amiel writes:
"Most journalists were not friends but, though hostile were just doing their job. Journalists singled out under 'Enemies' deliberately lied or were vicious beyond the call of duty--the same criteria is applied to non-journalists." (Amiel, in book)
----------
Amiel's list of 97 FRIENDS in the appendix includes only Sun folk Peter and Yvonne Worthington and John McDermott.
Her list of 25 ENEMIES includes only one Sun name, an unexpected one at that. What did Bernie do to cross her?
This is only her CANADA enemies list. LOL.
There's a UK list ( 107 friends, 3 enemies)
and a US list (70 friends, 16 enemies)
-----------
AMIEL writes:
"The Toronto Sun and I were not compatible in any way whatsoever, apart from a certain determination to shock and a sturdy belief in a Lockean individualism, a phrase that would have as much resonance with its core blue-collar readership as a Chinese ideogram..."
Ouch!
Intellectual diss, babe.
A John Locke joke.
She continues:
"There was a not so subterranean belief that I had obtained the editor's chair, and its office with a dismal potted tree and coat cupboard, via Peter Worthington's bed ... but the wistful rumour was not the slightest bit true.
"Still, the myth comforted the rather jock newsroom, where many had jostled for the position that had fallen into my apparently well-used lap."
Amiel writes she was a "shrewd but wrong" choice for the job.
"The managing editor, Les Payette (sic) would have been far more competent in the position."
Yes, the book spells his name like the governor-general's.
It's Les Pyette.
Maybe Penguin Random House needs a copy editor from that Jock Newsroom?
She dismisses her Sun years in a couple of pages, remembering a marketing meeting featuring a proposed Guess the Pope's Weight contest. Not exactly B-I-N-G-O-HHH.
Why does the memoir have a different cover in the U.S. than Canada? No prob: it's a delightful, wicked and dippy read.
amazon.ca white cover amazon.com black cover
Monday, October 12, 2020
The Mystery of Amiel's Missing Elephant
What happened to that famous Sun photo of Barbara Amiel riding an elephant?
It ran countless times in the paper, clear evidence that
(a) like the Sun, Amiel had a delicious sense of humour or (b)
perhaps something else.
Google that goofy pic: hundreds of Barbara photos
show up, but no elephant.
(a) like the Sun, Amiel had a delicious sense of humour or (b)
perhaps something else.
Google that goofy pic: hundreds of Barbara photos
show up, but no elephant.
The search turns up her columns about the deaths of four elephants at the Toronto Zoo for the paper and Maclean's, yet the Amiel Rides an Elephant photo is conspicuous by its absence.
Around 2000, I was told it was missing.
It wasn't in the Sun library's dusty photo files.
The photo pre-dated the dawn of the internet.
AOL wasn't even a thing.
No web photo site seems to have it.
It exists nowhere in cyberspace.
Thus was born the outrageous in-house fable that the Sun had printed the "damn elephant picture" one too many times. Tipsters claimed Amiel swiped it.
Thus was born the outrageous in-house fable that the Sun had printed the "damn elephant picture" one too many times. Tipsters claimed Amiel swiped it.
She thought it ridiculous.
Could the silly photo haunt her down thru the decades?
Intrude on her life as a serious person?
Did she take it?
Until 3 a.m. this morning, the jury was out.
Amiel is long gone.
Ditto the elephant.
Coincidence?
A wonderous mystery--one gossip claimed somebody saw her in the library at midnight--yet Page Six seemed suspiciously blind and mum to this juicy item.
A wonderous mystery--one gossip claimed somebody saw her in the library at midnight--yet Page Six seemed suspiciously blind and mum to this juicy item.
Uh, yeah.
Amiel's Friends and Enemies hits book stores in minutes.
Will the celebrated photo be in it?
Will the celebrated photo be in it?
Why dunf, you mean this photo?
Guilt builds over the years, my babies.
I searched for the photo yesterday.
I searched for the photo yesterday.
I feared it must be in my basement.
Wasn't it "borrowed" for a Tom Macmillan gag video shoot?
Half Page Challenge was produced as entertainment for a Paul Godfrey dinner during Amiel's reign, 1983-1985.
The mock panel show featured Amiel, Bono, John Downing, Andy Donato, Peter Worthington and a SUNshine girl.
All six spent an afternoon in a wrangled Cable 10 studio, with Scruff Connors as unseen announcer.
I've found the script and art from that show.
Amiel as Little Orphan Annie.
Doug Creighton photo-shopped as Daddy Warbucks.
I even found a DVD of the cheesy 19-minute effort.
Didn't I "borrow" the elephant pic again for the Amiel Reel TMac produced to show at a 1986 New York City seminar?
Yes to both.
But did I return it?
The elephant photo appears in Amiel's new book!
Doubleday had access to it this year!
Where did it come from?
I'm totally innocent!
Is The Black Queen of King Street?
Sunday, October 11, 2020
Saturday, October 10, 2020
"Don't let the squirrels get in your underwear drawer..."
So I read this ... from Gusgoose, who follows this blog ...
------------------
First post! Remember when that used to be a thing? Sorry if that sounds a bit “troll-ish” in view of the torrent of posting going on here. How you been Dunf?
You put me in mind of my uncle Ray, judging by some of the pictures posted here. He spent the last half of his life at his cottage and passed on at the age of 97. We had moved him in to a retirement home in Norwood after cleaning out his apartment in town.
Later in the year we cleared out his old cottage. I was keen to find any old treasures that I could recall from the few weeks I had spent there in summer of ‘66 and ‘67 (especially the Playboy mags my Aunt and Uncle had hastily stuffed in the attic hatch - man, a 13 year-old boy can find that stuff like a Kentucky bloodhound).
My bachelor Uncle was never a stickler for
housekeeping but after the squirrels got in the place it really went to
seed. I did find some old Super8 films in a box and I made it my mission
to digitize these for the benefit of family and posterity. I even
bought a Super8 projector on Kijiji (which was supposed to work but when
I got it home it needed fixing) Man, if you can’t trust strangers on
the internet, who CAN you trust?
There I am, late at night, trying to optimize the size and focus of these blurry old films as I project them onto the white wall of my living room, my wife calling me to come to bed, I’m making videos of them on my cellphone camera - I’m in my own little time warp...
A year or so later my wife and I are returning from a trip to Ottawa and, since it’s along the way home, decide to stop and see my Uncle who is in hospital at Campbellford. He was sleeping a lot at that point but he woke up for us and we had a nice visit. I remembered that I had some of these old video clips on my iPhone.
He seemed more impressed by the fact that I had video on my phone than the images of his relatively young and vigorous self, picking a couple of fresh-caught walleyes up off the dock and walking off camera, his beloved Beagle “Spunky” following after. It was mighty boring in that place. I like to think those vids paid a big dividend for all the time and trouble that went in to converting them. My uncle passed a couple days later.
Anyway, Dunf, the point of the story could be to say ( in a voice like Red Green) “Don’t let the squirrels get in your underwear drawer”. I’ll be checking in on you...
-------------------
This is a watchbird, watching you.
Does this kids' book still exist?
Big bird
I blink.
This thing stands at the end of a dock.
It appears nearly every morning.
"Fairly common to locally abundant late March to late November," states Andy Bezener's Birds of Ontario.
"A few heron overwinter."
They are nuts.
Friday, October 09, 2020
True confessions
--Josh Edelson/AFP
Just admit it:
After the third test months ago, he said "Fuck this s--t."
And was never tested again.
-----------------------------------
Trump told the network that he had not tested negative for
coronavirus since his positive result last week, adding that there was
“no reason to test all the time” and said he will “probably” be tested
tomorrow.
Who has time to see capybaras eat a pumpkin?
Nobody? Figured.
So excited for my first Covid Halloween.
How many Kit Kats can I eat?
Could be a log....
Thirty-three million people have watched this on YouTube.
And the moral is .... ignore the guy next to you?
Thursday, October 08, 2020
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
--Tom Clancy, after Mark Twain, Lord Byron-------------------------
. Is anyone taking the second wave of COVID-19 seriously? This data shows we’re shopping and traveling like it’s practically 2019 (Star)
. 13 charged with attempt to kidnap, murder Michigan Governor (AP)
. Fleetwood Mac's Dreams #1 on itunes, and Stevie Nicks, 72, wants to sing again
. Offer of $225,000 over asking sweeps up High Park house (Globe&Mail)
Wednesday, October 07, 2020
Donato's Joe Clark clock
Andy Donato timepiece
now ready for
Antiques Roadshow
"What is the totality of your acreage?"
--Joe Clark to peasant farmer
She's famous
Why does the Toronto Public Library think her name is often "Barbara Ameil?"
I before E, except after C ... unless you say "A" as in neighbours or weigh.
Fall fade
Andrew Fortier has been out capturing the fall colours around Madawaska, ON this last week ... the trees are well on their way to yellows, but this is how they looked when they first popped.
Covita: trolling the tweeter
The new New Yorker issue profiles the gang behind the Lincoln Project. They've been trolling Trump for months.
Three of their political ads went up within the last 10 hours.
Covita, above ... is sure to go viral.
Theirs is a very busy and inventive ad shop.
The U.S. soap opera continues.
Tuesday, October 06, 2020
Breaking point
I tried to kill a Sun computer, just like this one.
I hit it.
I threw it.
Nobody said it was wrong.
Monday, October 05, 2020
Bird pride
According to the latest numbers from the Crane Index, Toronto has a staggering 124 cranes in operation working on various large-scale developments right now while residents move into the second wave of COVID-19 and potentially further lockdown.
This makes us the urban centre with the most cranes in North America by a long shot, with 29 per cent of the cranes of all the cities surveyed across the continent.
-- blogto.com
Definitely whooping here.
Good work, cranes.
Donald J. Trump
I will be leaving the great Walter Reed Medical Center today at 6:30 P.M. Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of Covid. Don’t let it dominate your life. We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs & knowledge. I feel better than I did 20 years ago!
WTF?
Sunday, October 04, 2020
Saturday, October 03, 2020
Miltowns and wine moms
--baked duck
"My hobby is doom-scrolling and learning the science of Covid and smoking weed and sitting on the toilet staring at the wall, "says a mother of two children, 10 and 8, and a health-food restaurant owner in London, Ontario. "I just hide in my bathroom and vape..."
--
Mother’s Little Helper Is Back, and Daddy’s Partaking Too
--new york times article
Link: Mommy has her Covid soothie?
Old dog, new trick
Learning to pronounce remsee-demsee-veer....
Link: let's all say remdesivir
remdesivir, an antiviral medication
Friday, October 02, 2020
Best at running ever
--Songify, YouTube
Remember the Happy Times?
"I think you're gonna have a big surprise, a beautiful surprise, sooner than anybody would think."
Thoughts and prayers, baby.
Thoughts and prayers.
Thursday, October 01, 2020
Borat has a daughter?
Special Announcement from Kazakhstan Ministry of Information
Borat's new movie includes Mike Pence.
And his pregnant daughter.
Uh, let me clarify that ... Borat's.
Overload and exit
John Richardson column in Ottawa Citizen...
Dear America, It is with a heavy heart that I am writing today to say good-bye. I can’t take it any more, America. The drama, tragedy and suffering that are woven into the fibre of your being are too much for me to take. I’m all wrung out. I have nothing left.
America, I love you but I need to spend some time alone, with Canada.
...
You’re going to have to sort out your own problems from now on. I can’t hear about them any more. I have my own life to live and a country to build north of the border.
Goodbye, America. I wish you well. But please, don’t call me. I’ll call you. With every good wish for a peaceful, democratic future,
John.
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